


cardboard castles & paper hearts

by ofstrays



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Pairings, Minor Character Death, Multi, Pacific Rim AU, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-11-09 05:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17995751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofstrays/pseuds/ofstrays
Summary: It’s been five years since the Battle of the Breach and the failed attempt to seal it. Despite the damage given, Kaiju are still crossing over. A new team of Rangers, known as Project STRAY, have been preparing for the day they may finally take it down. Only problem? Someone is attempting to sabotage the Jaegers before they even have a chance. A young Pilot, carrying the weight of war upon him, is sent to help coach and become part of the team. He is an outsider, but he brings spirit, and he may be the key to saving the human race.





	1. misplaced heart

**Author's Note:**

> the pacific rim au no one asked for,,
> 
> so I haven't written a fic in a long, long, looong time, I apologize! thank you for all the support with the phoenix changlix and the like, I love and appreciate all of u that have read it!
> 
> this fic is something I've been planning for awhile now, and I don't usually do good with chapter fics, but trying to fit this big of an au into a single oneshot would be waaay too much on me so! we're gonna break it into smaller chapters, with this fic probs having 10-15, maybe more, at the end! I don't really follow a strict schedule but I'll try to write as much for this fic as I can as I'm fairly excited for it!
> 
> anyways, I've rambled enough! I hope you enjoy the first chapter! every member of stray kids will appear in this fic, I'm just not tagging them yet as they weren't introduced in the first one!!

_ The world we grew up in did not allow room for normal. To survive, you had to adapt, and that is exactly what we did. _

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

The sound of the helicopter was overwhelming, drowning out all other noise. This included conversation, but luckily for those upon the aircraft, no one quite seemed up to talking. It was evident in how their eyes found anything but each other to focus on. They were content to stare at the frothing ocean below, containing remnants of history in the form of machine parts and monsters ready to swallow you up with no remorse.

Clutching a tattered bag in his lap, the man known as Lee Felix did the same. His expression was blank, but his mind matched the turmoil of the waters passing in a blur. In that moment, everything in his life was changing, the carefully constructed web of puzzle pieces now slotting misshapen amongst each other. 

He was a Jaeger Pilot, someone trained to fight against the monsters parents used to employ to keep their kids in check at night. Using machines that towered over mere humans, made of gleaming metal and powered by amazing energies, Jaeger Pilot’s battled massive creatures from another realm. They were known as Kaiju, and they were incredibly dangerous. Pouring from the Breach, mankind had spent many years fighting the alien beings. They had suffered losses beyond imagination but the Kaiju weren’t quite winning either. Jaeger Pilots had to train hard in short amounts of time. Kaiju were formidable, and the amount of Pilots dwindled more with every month. Life was at a stalemate in war, but not in humans adapting to their new everyday flow.

It had been about five years since the Battle of the Breach. Five years since the failure of Operation Pitfall. Five years since humanity began to lose hope. But the animalistic need for survival surged forth, and the remaining members of the PPDC rallied together. They plotted and they planned, and soon an idea was hatched. Project STRAY began life in Hong Kong, an elite organization only the best of the best could join in. Humanity quickly rose to a point where they stood a chance once more.

The Breach was not destroyed, but it was surely damaged. Kaiju were limited in their time to cross over once more, and could only seem to emerge one at a time. Though the attacks had been shortened considerably, one Kaiju every two weeks was still taking a toll on the active Jaegers. Even with three more in production, the human race was at quite the disadvantage compared to their enemies.

Felix was born in Australia, a hot spot zone for Kaiju attacks, and as such was forced to grow up incredibly fast. He wanted nothing more to become a Ranger once he was old enough. His mind was sharp and his movements sharper; it was really no surprise he constantly received top marks. Being a Ranger was a dangerous job but it was one he took pride in. And it was one he did really, really well.

So why was he on a helicopter, heading away from the only home he’d ever known?

The dangerous part of being a Jaeger Pilot crept up on him. Felix still didn’t know if they’d grown too complacent in their abilities, or perhaps their Jaeger malfunctioned; there had been no word. Then again, it was hard to know what caused error when your mech was torn to pieces.

He lost both a Jaeger and his partner of five years to a Kaiju attack. Further still, he lost his confidence, and with no Jaeger and no partner, what use was he?

Apparently enough to garner the attention of Hong Kong’s Shatterdome. 

His skills in combat had been noticed by the Fightmaster there, and Felix was invited to the exclusive Project STRAY. There was no time to wallow in sorrow over what he’d lost, and in a perfect world, Felix could’ve retired. But their world was far from normal. In their world, parents buried children and the wicked only grew richer. It was cruel, but it was life.

Needless to say, Felix accepted the offer.

‘The change of pace will be good for you,’ his Marshal had said, ‘You’ll be fine.’ It wasn’t all about a change of pace either; it was about a change of scenery. Felix knew he couldn’t handle entering a dark room devoid of his partner’s laughter. It was too heavy for him to handle. Not when the constant feeling of fear and pain scraped through his mind completely unwarranted, Felix reliving every emotion his Drift Partner did when he was thrown into the ocean like nothing more than a ragdoll. Not when the subtle ‘help me’ replayed in his ears over and over and over again. It was no surprise he jumped on the chance to leave.

Thus, Felix found himself seated on a helicopter, watching the waves pass by in the most boring game of ISpy he’d ever played. None of them had really spoken even before boarding the aircraft. There were three other people relocating to the Shatterdome that day as well. Not Rangers, but equally as important to their cause, though Felix had never spoken to them before. Today was not the day he wanted to start so he was glad they seemed disinterested as well.

Despite all of the activity going on around him, his mind felt strangely … empty. The breaking of a Drift in such an unnatural way had its side effects but Felix never knew it was so lonely. Honestly, Felix had no idea if he was even capable of Drifting again. That question would get answered among everyone else in STRAY.

Clutching his music player tightly in his hand, he could see the Shatterdome looming in the distance. His attention was fully captured by the sight of his new home. It was truly a formidable fortress. Sure, it was a tiny dot on the horizon now, but everyone knew how massive the facility was. It had to be considering the amount of Jaegers it could store. Australia’s Shatterdome wasn’t even close to the size of Hong Kong’s and Felix had to admit, he was mildly intimidated.

As soon as he spotted it, time seemed to speed up. The rest of the ride brought the Shatterdome closer and closer and anxiety settled deep within his stomach. Drawing near the landing areas, Felix could see many personnel hurrying every which way. They were like ants exposed to sunlight for the first time, the sheer amount of people tripled compared to Australia. But when you had a total of seven Jaegers in your hangar, it made sense. More to maintain, more at stake. 

As the helicopter descended upon the platform, Felix shut off his music and stuffed it back into his pocket. Surprisingly, his anxiety was minimal, and he was actually quite excited to finally arrive. Felix had never really enjoyed flying. Clutching his bag to his chest, the Ranger took his first steps into his new home. Behind him, the helicopter whirred slowly to a halt.

Standing a few feet away, Felix spotted two people at attention. They were both dressed in the basic Ranger uniform. One of them, the taller of the pair, had dark hair. The shorter of the duo was blonde, the color matching the bright smile occupying his lips. It appeared several teams had been sent out to greet them; his travel partners wandered off to the clusters waiting for them. Taking a deep breath, Felix began his walk towards the pair. 

By the time he reached them the helicopter had fallen silent. Gentle waves, distant seagulls, and the bustle of people created the soundtrack of outside. Honestly, it was quite peaceful.

As he approached, the blonde one raised a hand into a mini wave. “Yo! Welcome to Hong Kong’s Shatterdome. You must be Felix!” 

After the three of them exchanged handshakes, he nodded. “Lee Felix, reporting for duty. You must be Chan and Woojin?”

Woojin, the darker haired guy, smiled in response. He nudged Chan with his elbow. “See, I told you he’d know who we were. You’re too famous not to be known.”

“Hey, he recognized you too!” Chan nudged him back before fixing his gaze upon Felix once more. “Yep, we’re Chan and Woojin! Pilots of Candor Sunrise, at your service. We’ve been assigned to show you around and help you get settled in.”

Felix smiled. If people didn’t know Candor Sunrise and those who Piloted her, they were willfully ignorant. Chan was the son of one of the best Rangers who ever lived, a man who gave his life for early experiments with Mark-1 Jaegers. He’d never allowed himself to be babied, and he never asked for handouts; the boy was a natural from the moment he could walk. And Chan was Australian as well, so that helped make him feel more at ease. Woojin was from a life of trauma, losing his father and sister to an attack; it was his mother who convinced him to do great things. The duo met for the first time at the academy but it was said their ability to Drift was so strong, no one had ever doubted their aptitude. They were truly a force to be reckoned with. 

“I’m glad to be here. Can’t wait to see Candor Sunrise in person.”

Woojin motioned for him to follow, the trio set off towards the bay doors. “You’ll be seeing everyone we have housed here today, including your possible future Jaeger. Cerulean Reverie is gorgeous, you’ll love him.”

Cerulean Reverie was a newer Jaeger. The Jaeger only been deployed twice and had performed amazingly. The only problem was it’s main Ranger wasn’t really that friendly. And he was bad at Drifting. Which was, for Jaeger Pilots, absolutely essential to Piloting them. 

If Felix was being honest, he wasn’t really looking forwards to attempting to bond with such an unfriendly person. He was outgoing and made friends easily; he’d been quite popular at his homebase. Without a Jaeger, however, there wasn’t really much choice in the matter. 

The first Jaeger he seen upon entering was one he knew well. Silver Beacon, a non-STRAY program Jaeger, a Mark-3 and the last of its kind in that category. Another beautiful machine that many all over the world admired. Chan pointed it out as they passed.

“This here is Midnight Ethereal; you’ll meet its Ranger’s later. Across the way,” Woojin pointed to the wall opposite, “Is Lunar Vortex. These two are part of Project STRAY so you’ll be seeing and interacting with their Rangers often.” 

“They’re all kinda weird but, can you really be a Jaeger Pilot if you’re not?” Chan winked, then continued on down the way. “Over here we have Grey Whirlwind and Sanguine Omega; they are not part of the project, but you’ll still meet everyone at some point.”

Felix didn’t even need words to know who the final two were. Candor Sunrise matched her namesake, a sleek mass of blood-red metal and orange accents. Candor was sharper in design than most other Jaegers, being a Mark-7. Though not the most recently built mech, she was still fairly new in the grand scheme of the war. 

Cerulean Reverie though … It felt like his breath had been taken away. Chan and Woojin came to a halt, but Felix took a few more steps forward. The Jaeger was absolutely massive, the main body a deep midnight blue. Cerulean’s accents were the same as its namesake, bright and vibrant against the darker color, and it was gorgeous. Woojin hadn’t been lying in the slightest. All he could manage was a soft, “Wow.”

Chan placed a hand on his shoulder, coming to stand next to him. “Told you so. Cerulean is even better to Pilot.”

Felix felt determination renew in his chest. “I can’t wait.”

Woojin wandered up on the opposite side. “Well, you’ll have to make it over that obstacle first.” 

The Ranger pointed in a direction, and Felix’s eyes followed. Leaning against Cerulean’s foot, attention completely off the trio of onlookers, was a short man with black hair. So far away, Felix couldn’t really make out any details aside from the leather jacket upon his upper half. From Woojin’s words alone he could already make a guess as to who it was; Cerulean’s main Ranger.

As if on cue, the Ranger looked over at the three of him. He pushed off Cerulean and rolled his shoulders, shoving hands into his pockets. Felix swallowed as he began to walk over. Something about him just seemed so intimidating, the aura around his body dark and unfriendly. As he drew closer, Felix could see three silver earrings in his left ear, a matching silver necklace clinking gently against his chest, and an unreadable expression. In a different world, he’d definitely be classified as the ‘bad boy’ type.

He came to a halt before them, eyes sizing up Felix with subtle flicks here and there. Felix took that time to marvel at how short the man was. It startled him a bit when he spoke. “You’re the new guy, yeah? Don’t bother telling me your name, my potential Drift Partners aren’t around long enough for me to care. Try not to die.” The corner of the Ranger’s mouth bunched for a moment and he sighed, swerving around them so he could continue on his way.

Felix didn’t answer, the man’s behavior catching him completely off guard.

Once he was out of earshot, Chan turned his attention back to Felix. “Don’t let him get to you. His name’s Changbin, and he’s like that to all new recruits. You’ll get used to him eventually.”

Oh, he knew about Changbin. His file and the intent to pair them up was sent over long before he’d set out for Hong Kong. Part of STRAY and with an attitude to rival a volcano, Changbin had only successfully Drifted with one person. It didn’t take long for them to become fed up with his personality, however, and the other Pilot quickly left. Changbin was in danger of losing his rights as Cerulean Reverie’s dominate Pilot if he couldn’t find someone to properly Drift with soon. Felix had been told all of this and warned of just how abrasive he could be, while also being told he’d more than likely take over as dominate Pilot if they failed to make a connection. Changbin wanted to be a Pilot, that much was true, but there was no room for someone who could not properly Drift with anyone; Jaegers were not meant to be prop pieces in their Shatterdome.

The words Changbin had uttered left a bad taste in his mouth, but Felix couldn’t deny that he was curious over why the other Ranger couldn’t properly Drift. And he was determined to be the one to find out.

“Don’t worry, I think it’ll be a fun challenge.” His eyes followed Changbin until he reached the doors leading to the dorms. The man turned, and he was pretty sure their gazes met; Felix felt a new fire ignite in his chest.

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

“It’s impossible for us to get close! We need to call in backup!” 

Caspian’s mind was lined with fear, something Felix was not used to feeling from his partner. He grit his teeth but did not answer, mind racing in an attempt to find a solution to what they were facing. The Kaiju, codename Catsith, made close combat absolute hell for them. They needed a long range Jaeger to stand up to the monster.

“If we wait for backup, it won’t get here in time! We have to protect the city!” Felix steadied their stance, taking a shaky breath. “We need to at least hold it off. It absolutely cannot reach land.”

“I know that, I know that.” Caspian’s voice was as shaky as Felix’s breathing. In the distance, the Kaiju roared its anger and unexpectedly charged.

They reacted quick enough to dodge to the left, Polar Four’s battered body creaking in protest at the all too sharp movement. Catsith was impossibly fast for their Jaeger’s slower reaction speed to keep up with and it was taking a toll.

As the dominant Ranger, Felix had to make a decision … and it ended up being the wrong one. Feigning to the right, Polar Four surged up towards Catsith’s flank, but the Kaiju seemed to anticipate the movement. A clawed hand gripped their oncoming punch, the right hand, and squeezed. Felix attempted to yank his arm back to no avail. The Kaiju roared again, jaws crunching the metal in its grasp while Caspian punched at its head.

Catsith pushed off the ocean floor, sending Polar Four’s body backwards into the waters below. They had enough time to rise up again, Felix feeling fear claw at his heart as he examined his destroyed arm. Seconds passed, much too long of a time to wait, before Catsith descended upon them. Teeth sank into the left side of Polar Four’s head, tearing and destroying metal. A rush of freezing ocean air flooded the compartment and Caspian made a move to grasp the Kaiju’s head, attempting to yank it free.

The action wasn’t enough. Catsith reached a terribly crooked hand into Polar Four’s head and tore Caspian free from his control, Felix staring on helplessly. Caspian screamed, and he felt his mind flood with pain, fear, and absolute terror. The Kaiju, uncaring of the life it held within its claws, tossed his partner into the depths of the sea. Felix screamed too as the worst feeling he’d ever experienced took up every corner of his body; Caspian had died while they were still Drifting.

Catsith roared into the night, smacking Polar Four with enough force to send it flying. The Category Four Kaiju approached once more, Felix watching as it drew ever near. From deep within his chest, Felix roared in newfound determination, tears streaming down his face. Powering through the pain of controlling Polar Four on his own, he drew back the left arm and swung—

Felix shot up in bed, heart beating rapidly in his chest. It took a few moments of labored breath to realize it had been a nightmare. One he never grew used to, even though he’d experienced it every single night since Polar Four was destroyed. A nightmare that always reignited the pain and fear Caspian felt as he hit the water, his life being stolen from him, and the emptiness it opened with Felix’s mind. He felt hollow … and so incredibly lonely. 

Felix could call and call as much as he wanted, but Caspian would never answer again.

Shoving his face into his hands, he scrubbed at his brow and softly sighed. It was safe to say he wouldn’t be sleeping again that night. Thus, Felix moved from the bed and fished around the floor for his pants. Might as well take a walk; it always seemed to calm him in Australia. Grabbing his phone, he headed out into the dimly lighted hallway. Outside was colder than he was used to, the air in the hallway crisp against his face. The space held an unnatural quiet to it, odd for a Shatterdome normally full of busy people. Despite not knowing the surrounding area that well yet, Felix managed to navigate into the bay area. It was empty aside from the guards near the main door and held a silence akin to the one in his mind. Honestly, it was kind of unsettling.

Felix released a small sigh and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. His feet carried him towards the impressive height of Cerulean Reverie. Part of him could hardly believe he was being offered a chance to Pilot such a majestic Jaeger, especially so soon after what happened, but there was no time to rest in war. 

As he approached Cerulean, he spotted silhouette of a person slide down from the Jaeger’s foot. Why someone would be doing maintenance this late at night was beyond him, but there were a lot of things the Hong Kong crew did differently. He eyed the silhouette’s general area but they didn’t appear to notice him. Felix could barely make out tools being shoved into a bag and shrugged. Guess they took emergency maintenance seriously here.

His walking came to a halt, and Felix tilted his head back to stare up at Cerulean. The lighting upon it was soft but it was more than enough to make the bright markings glow; Cerulean was even more gorgeous. Despite the apprehension deep within his bones, he honestly couldn’t wait to Pilot Cerulean. 

Spending a little more time admiring the Jaeger, his nerves calmed considerably. Maybe he would try to sleep once again. After all, tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

The next morning brought a whole new array of personalities into Felix’s life. They were relationships that, unknown to him at the time, would formulate one of the strongest sets of connections he’d ever experience.

His adventure for the day began at breakfast, eyes still sticky from sleep and bowl of cereal only half eaten. Chan and Woojin had arrived the same time as him and were sitting opposite, chatting away while Felix attempted to raise himself from the threads of exhaustion. And yet, coffee still wasn’t enough for the amount of energy coming their way.

Two strangers, dressed in training outfits, plopped down on the bench to his left. Felix’s attention turned upon the new presence while Chan greeted them with a cheerful morning call. The one immediately to his left had deep blue hair and a very chipmunk-like face, a silver piercing in his lower lip; he was smiling. Beside him, though partially obscured, sat a taller man with black hair and expression as tired as Felix felt. He too looked ready to murder for coffee; thankfully he was already clutching a cup of it in his hands.

“You must be the new arrival! Felix, right?” 

Not really paying attention, the sudden voice caught him off guard. He blinked at the blue-haired stranger for a moment or two. “Uh … yeah. That’s me.” 

The other man chuckled. “I can tell you’re not a morning person either.” He nudged his companion with his elbow, getting a displeased grunt in response. “The name’s Jisung, and this here is Minho! We’re the Rangers of Midnight Ethereal!”

“You’ll get used to his energy,” Minho mumbled. “I had to.”

He didn’t have time to respond before Jisung’s attention was fully captured by his companion. “You say that like it’s a bad thing! People love my energy!”

“Not so early in the morning.” Minho took a long drink of his coffee; Felix mirrored him.

On the other side of the table, Chan was smiling and Woojin let out a soft chuckle. “As energetic as always, Jisung,” Woojin said. He picked idly at his fruit.

“You would think he gets quiet during sleep though, right? Wrong. He talks even when he’s asleep.” Minho shoved a bite of oatmeal into his mouth.

Jisung whined beside him, and the pair got into an argument that couldn’t really be considered an argument. It was just basic friend-type bickering. Felix tried his best to tune it out; it reminded him of Caspian.

The man finished his coffee and shoved another spoonful of cereal in his mouth. By that point, Jisung’s attention had swiveled back to him, and Felix paused in his chewing as he realized eyes were upon him. Everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t been listening to; he swallowed and collected himself.

“Sorry, I was kinda lost in my own world. What was the question?”

Woojin waved a hand, that soft smile never leaving his face. “Not really a question! We’re just wondering if you’re ready for today.”

“Oh! Yeah, I’m ready. I didn’t sleep well, but that’s not going to stop me. Honest.” He gave a thumbs up and took another bite of his cereal. “I work better tired.”

Jisung nudged Minho again, getting another harsh side-eye. “Minho’s that same way. He seems grumpy right now but I swear he’s not always like that.”

“I’m not grumpy, I’m just not a morning person. Especially with your snoring.”

“Hey, I don’t snore!”

“Yeah you do. You’re louder than a Jaeger taking a step!”

Jisung whined in response, and Felix hid his smile in another bite of cereal. The two of them continued to bicker, with an occasional comment from Chan or Woojin, and he understood why STRAY was a successful program. They were like a mini family, and though he felt a little out of place in that moment, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be like that for long.

Once breakfast was over, the entire group headed off for the training rooms. Felix almost immediately learned that Jisung wasn’t just a ball of bright energy. It turned out Jisung was the son of one of the Fightmaster originally interested in Felix, and he was a completely different person when sparring. He’d been raised fighting from the moment he could comprehend things and it apparently came as naturally as breathing for him.

Felix wasn’t required to begin searching for a Drift Partner until tomorrow, but it wouldn’t hurt to get an idea of the others in training. Time happened to be important in their new age lifestyle.

It only took ten minutes of observation before he was invited to spar. Jisung seemed eager to test him, eyes completely different to those in the cafeteria; a smirk made his cheeks look more chipmunk than before. What was Felix gonna do, say no?

Dropping his shoulders, Felix made his way into the center of the ring. The crowd around them fell silent. Just beyond Jisung stood Minho, who was apparently just as curious as his partner. He lowered his stance into a ready pose, Jisung doing the same. Time seemed to stretch onward as they eyed each other, both attempting to figure out who would make the first move.

Ultimately, Jisung took up the offer. He darted forward and made a swing for Felix’s neck. The latter spun out of the way, sweeping his leg out. This move was anticipated, however, and Jisung caught his ankle in one hand, knocking Felix onto his back. Felix grunted in response but there was no time to waste; he rolled to the right, breaking his ankle free. Palms flat on the floor, he swung his body violently to his feet, regaining his balance just as Jisung made another run towards him.

This time Felix was ready, feigning to the left and catching Jisung’s arm. He twisted it against the smaller man’s back and used his free hand to grasp the other Ranger by the back of the neck.

“Wow, no wonder you were invited to STRAY. I’m impressed.”

Felix smirked and let him go. Jisung massaged his shoulder and turned to face him. Minho came to stand beside him as several small claps echoed throughout the room; it soon turned into various chatter.

“I was one of Australia’s best Rangers. Can’t do that with no skills.” The praise, coming from the son of one of the greatest Fightmasters, made pride swell within his chest. 

“You move quite lightly. I think you’ll fit in just fine,” Minho said, arms folded behind his back. 

Jisung nudged him with his elbow, grinning. “Stop acting all cool and mysterious! You don’t fit either of those words!”

Minho side-eyed him. “You don’t either.”

The two began bickering, but Felix had quit paying attention. His eyes had wandered to the far wall, through the sea of other trainees, to the man propped against the wall. With an uninterested expression and crossed arms, it was honestly a miracle he was still there, but Felix had spotted him immediately. Changbin wasn’t hard to miss. 

Sensing Felix’s shift in attention, Jisung and Minho’s arguing fizzled off. They followed his eyes and spotted the fellow Ranger. At the realization they were all looking at him, Changbin sighed and pushed off the wall. The trainees moved to the side as he walked between them; his entire attention was focused on Felix. It felt like that gaze burned a hole within him.

Though shorter, Changbin’s energy made him seem much bigger; he commanded the room in a way Felix hadn’t seen in a long time. He had yet to know if that was through an unpleasant personality or mere respect, but he felt the time to learn was soon. The man came to a halt before him, dark eyes meeting Felix’s own, and the two regarded one another akin to how carefully one scans a textbook.

Eventually, Changbin extended a hand; he didn’t break eye contact. “Spar with me.”

Felix swallowed a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. Taking Changbin’s hand within his own, he shook it, voice low, “Sounds like fun.”

Minho whistled and sauntered away, an excited Jisung hurrying behind him. A strange silence washed over the training room following Felix’s acceptance. They backed away from one another, never breaking eye contact, and sank into position. Felix steadied his breathing and ran through various stances and moves in his mind. Despite Jisung being the teacher, something about Changbin seemed dark and deadly; he was a wildcard among the dealt hand before him.

This time, Felix attacked first. He swept his arm towards Changbin, meaning to catch him in the chest, but the Ranger crossed his arms before the move could land. Felix struck there, smirking inwardly; Changbin wasn’t the type to run away. 

A punch sailed his direction, Felix ducking out of the way and dodging to the right. Another followed quickly and Felix jumped back, the same pattern repeating a total of eight times. (Yes, he counted.) Needing a break from constant backwards motion, Felix darted under and past Changbin; he knocked the other man to a knee in the process.

Changbin rose, hands curling into fists, and just a hint of a smile on his face.

The next five minutes turned into swing after swing in Felix’s direction, the latter always avoiding just in time or managing to block. Changbin ended up on the ground a few times, but he was never down long, and the two of them couldn’t find a single opening to take advantage of.

It wasn’t until towards the end of that five minutes did Felix feel it. He was certain Changbin felt it too, for his swing faltered and the two merely regarded each other. A pull, like gravity heavy on their minds, hummed through their bodies, and Felix knew.

They were Drift Compatible.

And as soon as Felix realized that, Changbin realized it too.

He opened his mouth to mention it, to say something to begin that long length of conversation, but Changbin was already halfway to the door.

“Hey, Changbin wait!” Jisung called out for him but the other Ranger had already disappeared. The man sighed, running his fingers down his face.

Meanwhile, Felix stood in the center of the ring, staring at the door. His smile was subtle. If he wasn’t curious enough before, there was no chance in hell Changbin could get rid of him now. Perhaps Changbin knew that too.

“Hmm.”

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

The night air was chilly, carrying with it the scent of salt and a sting that seemed to go straight to your bones. Such weather was unusual for Felix, but in that moment he was enjoying the numbing effect it provided; it was exactly what he needed in that moment. Though it wasn’t silent, he did pretty well at tuning out the world around him.

That is, until someone tapped on his shoulder.

Felix’s attention swiveled behind him, eyes following black pants all the way up to a soft smile. Chan stood there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, and offered a small shrug. “Mind if I join you?”

He patted the spot next to him. “Sure, don’t see why not.”

Chan sank to the ground, stretching his legs out before him, hands on either side of his thighs. The leader of STRAY hummed softly for a moment, and two took in the atmosphere of deadly ocean together in silence. As the breeze settled down, the words finally came.

“He’s not a bad guy, I promise.” Felix looked over at him. “Changbin is … well, Changbin.”

“I don’t think he’s bad. Is that a vibe I’m giving?”

Chan chuckled. “No, no. Not a vibe, honest. Just getting it out there. Changbin can be pretty abrasive but, he’s a good guy. Honest.”

Now it was Felix’s turn to hum, the noise low in his throat. “Mm. Don’t worry, he reminds me of someone I used to know. I can handle it.”

The other Ranger tilted his head back, staring up at the cloudless night sky. Stars twinkled in the distance, containing more life than they could even comprehend. 

“Jisung told me you felt it. Is it true? Are you Drift Compatible?”

Ah. Felix raised a hand in a half-hearted shrug. “I felt it. I’m pretty sure Changbin felt it too, but he ran away before we could talk about it.”

Chan shifted, placing a hand on Felix’s shoulder. His gaze shifted to meet the eyes of STRAY’s leader. “He wants to be a hero, but he hasn’t learned how to forgive a past that isn’t his own. Him finding a Drift Partner is crucial right now. I know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. Yet … he’s still stubborn. He’s afraid of letting someone into his mind. He’s always been like that.”

“May I ask why it’s crucial?”

The hand left his shoulder, instead landing on the back of Chan’s neck; the man shifted his eyes to the far off horizon. “He’s the first to handle Cerulean, but he’s never had a Partner, and the Marshals are getting impatient. A grounded Jaeger is a useless Jaeger.”

The words were harsh but Felix understood. There was no time for deadweight in the endless war against the Kaiju. Jaegers were created to fight the massive beasts emerging from the sea. One sitting in a Shatterdome unused wouldn’t kill Kaiju.

“So,” and Chan looked back at him once more, “I want you to convince him to attempt a Drift with you. You have experience, you know what you’re doing, and I feel you may be the best choice for this. He’ll be cut from STRAY if this doesn’t work out.”

Felix’s mouth twisted a bit. How could he tell Chan that he too was afraid of letting someone into his mind again? How could he tell Chan, who was looking at him with more determination than Felix had in his entire body, that he didn’t think he could do it? What good would a stranger from another Shatterdome do? Well, there was only one answer.

“Okay. I’ll do everything I can to keep him in the program.”

If only he knew how much of a mess he was getting himself into.


	2. home without a house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gasp ! a chapter !! all i can say is i'm sorry i suck at updates oof

_Home became a concept found within people, for the land held far too much strife to settle down and exist peacefully._

_We found home among each other._

——— ( o ) ———

Felix sat outside under the stars long after Chan left, lost in his mind while it filtered through thought after thought. Their conversation sat heavily within, almost low enough to rest upon his heart, and he exhaled sharply. He rose to his feet and stared out upon the ocean, taking a deep breath that brought salt and cold and a shiver down his spine. He could do this. There had never been a challenge he had backed down from before, as long as you didn’t count eating four chili peppers in a row, but that was beside the point.

Thinking of the peppers, his stomach made a low rumble, demanding food he’d so rudely skipped at lunch time. Several moments of silence later, Felix made his way back towards the bay doors, but his thoughts were completely consumed by what Chan had said. Changbin seemed so unfriendly their first meeting, with an air of aloof disinterest, and Felix wasn’t sure he was ready to put up with a personality like that yet. Deep down, however, he knew he couldn’t afford to be picky. Not in a world full of monsters.

His quest for food paused as he neared Cerulean. Craning back his neck, Felix cast his gaze upon the beautiful Jaeger once more. The Mark-7 had never been deployed, thus far spending its entire existence within this very hangar. Felix thought of the lives it could have saved, the amount of destruction that could have been prevented … and he stopped those thoughts almost immediately. There was no use in bringing forth the what-ifs. He could sit there for hours and think things like _what-if the Kaiju never appeared_ but it would never rewind time.

Completely entranced in his mind, it was no surprise the sudden loud noise made his heart leap from his chest. A head popped out of Cerulean’s foot, scratching at scruffy hair. The source of the noise tossed a wrench upon the ground, their groan of frustration palpable. Meanwhile, Felix simply clutched his chest for a moment in an attempt to calm down. This movement caught the eye of the, what he assumed, mechanic, and they perked up at the sight of him.

“Hey, you there! Have you seen anything weird tonight? Or anyone?”

His eyes flicked left and right but no one else was in sight. So he jabbed a finger into his own chest, where the heart within was still going wild. “Are you talking to me?”

Even from where he was standing, he could see the gummy smile that spread across the stranger’s face. “Who else?” They motioned for Felix to walk over.

As he drew closer, he could make out big wire-framed glasses, scruffy black hair, and grease-stained cheeks. He spotted the mechanic uniform once he reached the toe the noisy human was sitting in.

Noisy human perked up a bit once he came into closer view, snapping his fingers. “You’re the new recruit! Felix, right? Can you hand me that wrench right there?”

His eyes followed the pointed finger, seeing a bag of tools strewn precariously around the floor. “Uh …” Despite the response, Felix still found the tool in question, handing it off with an inquisitive look. “Yeah, I’m Felix. You are …?”

The human vanished back within Cerulean’s foot almost immediately. Seconds later, a bolt went flying out onto the floor. This mechanic was … a character. Felix pushed onto his toes and tried to peek inside, jerking back in surprise as a head popped up.

“Oh right, introductions! I’m Jeongin, also part of the STRAY program. I’m the mechanic that tends to your Jaegers.” He waved the wrench but didn’t disappear quite yet.

No one had mentioned a mechanic within the program. The more Felix thought about it, the more it made sense. Though he didn’t think about it long. “Ah, nice to meet you, Jeongin.”

“So, have you?” Jeongin said, not missing a beat.

“Have I what?” The confusion was obvious among his features, earning him a gentle laugh.

“Seen anything weird!” He motioned for Felix to get closer, quickly glancing from left to right; Felix did so. Jeongin lowered his voice a bit. “I can trust you, right?”

Tension curled around his heart, squeezing tightly, and Felix swallowed the sudden nerves gathering in his throat. He wasn’t really sure what to say. They’d just met, but Jeongin happened to be incredibly perceptive; he picked up on this quickly.

“Oh right, you just got here. What am I saying, of course I can trust you.” The mechanic glanced both ways once more. “Someone’s been tampering with the Jaegers. I’ve had to work overtime the last two weeks just to check for inconsistencies.”

It felt like time slowed, the roar of his heartbeat consuming his eardrums. Why would someone be sabotaging the Jaegers, especially at such a crucial time? What was the point? Surely there wasn’t one. “Do you have any suspects yet?”

Jeongin sighed, sounding incredibly tired. “I wish. It could be anyone, considering the blueprints for these things aren’t exactly hard to find. We can’t really go around throwing out accusations either. Someone did that once over a coveted pudding cup that was stolen, and we still haven’t heard the end of it.” His attention suddenly turned to Felix, catching him a bit off guard. “Sorry, I ramble a lot! Simply put, no one has been able to spot them, and the bay area is too large for our cameras to really pick up on shifty movements.” Jeongin’s head tilted, spotting something behind him, but this didn’t offer enough time for Felix to really prepare himself.

“You look full of energy tonight.”

The sudden voice made his heart skip a beat and he threw a glance over his shoulder. Behind him stood two new faces, dressed in off-duty uniforms. The one on the right was tall, dark hair curling near his ears and features as soft as the smile upon his lips. At his left stood a slightly shorter guy, with deep red hair and a solemn expression; his hands were shoved into his pockets. They moved to stand next to Felix, the taller one offering a friendly wave.

“Oh! I didn’t expect you two to stop by tonight.”

“We’re actually on our way to grab some food. Been training all day you know?” The dark haired stranger then focused his attention upon Felix. “You must be the new guy. Felix, right?”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot today. It’s nice to meet you …?”

“Hyunjin! This grumpy butt is Seungmin.” Hyunjin leaned over a bit, mock whispering, “He’s a bit cranky because I beat him at chess earlier.”

Jeongin huffed a bit. “I thought you said you were training?”

“He totally cheated, don’t let him lie to you,” Seungmin said.

Felix's eyes traveled between the trio, his input quiet for the moment.

“Playing chess is a valid form of training! It tests your mind.”

“And your patience,” Seungmin mumbled.

That got a small chuckle from Felix and he crossed his arms. “Well, it’s nice to meet all of you. Guess that means I’ve met all of STRAY.”

Seungmin leaned over Hyunjin a bit, finally taking a good look at him. He didn’t seem unfriendly, just a bit closed off, but whatever he seen in Felix’s face seemed to satisfy him. After a couple moments of contemplative silence, Seungmin exhaled and gave a small nod. “Jisung mentioned you trained with Changbin. Can’t believe they’re pairing you with that mess.”

Jeongin, realizing he wasn’t getting anything done, ducked back into the foot he’d been inspecting. That didn’t stop his voice from spilling out to them though. “Seungmin’s just grumpy because he and Changbin don’t get along.”

“Changbin has a hard time getting along with anyone. I can’t remember the last time he ate dinner with us,” Hyunjin said, tapping his chin.

Felix barely dodged a bolt tossed from Cerulean’s foot, watching it roll away. He couldn't really offer a comment on the topic. After all, he barely knew the guy.

“That’s not entirely true; he gets along with Chan pretty well.” Jeongin’s voice was muffled.

Hyunjin laughed. “Chan gets along with everyone though. He’s Chan!” He walked over to where the mechanic was currently hiding out in, peeking as best he could into the compartment. “Anyways, have you eaten yet? I know how bad you are with food.”

“Can’t right now. I’ve gotta finish this.”

“Just come back to it. It’s only been two weeks since …” Hyunjin’s voice grew soft, and Felix couldn’t hear the rest of what he said. Anxiety squeezed his heart once more; could he really find a place among a team already so accustomed to each other?

Stop. The voice in his head was soft but firm. He would have to make it work, not because he wanted to, but because he had to; there were too many things riding upon his shoulders. Too many things to protect. Felix was determined to become the piece their puzzle desperately lacked.

“You wanna go with us, Felix? If you haven’t eaten yet that is.”

Seungmin’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, and his attention snapped back into the present. Jeongin was climbing out of Cerulean’s foot, landing on the floor with a soft clack.

He merely blinked for a moment, soaking in the words. It'd been awhile since he'd been invited to anything, let alone had a meal in someone else's company. The faintest hint of a smile graced his lips, and he looked up at them with a quick nod. “Sure, I was actually heading that way.”

“Great!" Hyunjin clapped his hands together. "That settles it then! Time for some grub.” The Ranger picked up the bolt Jeongin had previously thrown, dropping it into his tool bag as he packed up. Once that task was completed, the four of them began to make their way to the cafeteria.

Felix merely listened as they made their way to the cafeteria. Their topics were news and gossip he wasn't quite familiar with yet, names and locations being tossed around like renegade popcorn. Hyunjin made a conscious effort to include him but there wasn't much Felix could contribute. Still, he appreciated the kind gesture nonetheless. The other Ranger had an air of friendliness that drew him in, akin to the aura Chan exuded as well. It made conversation easy and already he felt like more than a stranger among them.

Seungmin on the other hand ... he wasn’t unfriendly, but there was an air of awkwardness surrounding him. Despite this, he seemed to warm up to Felix rather quickly in their short walk. He even managed to get a laugh out of the redhead.

The group of them got lost in conversation, and though the walk was relatively short, their minds were caught up in chatter. It felt nice to have normal conversation in a time of fear. It felt like the world wasn't falling apart ... like things were okay again, for just a moment. But deep down Felix knew they'd never had come together if the ocean wasn't a roiling mess crawling with monsters. They were strangers amid a crisis plaguing the whole world, but storybooks carried tales of amazing friendships born in similar situations. Weird how the world felt like an eccentric fantasy novel these days.

Upon entering the cafeteria, the first thought that filled Felix's mind was how many people were there. Sydney's personnel had been small, barely enough to fill their tiny little mess hall. But here? There were people at almost every table, milling about, eating, socializing, and just ... taking up space. It was a sight he wasn't used to and it appeared the shock of that translated across his face.

"Our Shatterdome houses over three hundred people, though I doubt you'll ever see all of them in the same place. There's always something to do here." Seungmin patted his shoulder, and his feet moved on autopilot as the other three made their way towards the serving counter.

The food selection wasn't that great, but it was leagues better than what he was used to. He couldn't remember the last time he had a real biscuit, and the buttery circle was snatched from the bowl with excitement. Nothing like biscuits and mac and cheese, right?

They settled at a surprisingly empty table, and Felix dropped into silence as he munched on his coveted biscuit. The conversation once again directed to topics he didn't understand but it didn't bother him at all. Jeongin laughing, Hyunjin's smile, and Seungmin shaking his head ... they looked so innocent. It was here that it hit him they'd never seen battle. They'd never been thrown into the sea to fight back against a Kaiju. This realization brought a strange feeling to his chest, but not one of upset or even sadness. It just felt ... weird. To see people smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong, but perhaps that was the secret to morale here. He recalled the words of his partner and smiled into his biscuit.

'Be happy, no matter what happens. Don't let the Kaiju take away your joy. That's how they win.'

But the happiness that statement brought back to him shattered within seconds.

Felix's eyes trailed up to view the face of the bodies suddenly in front of him. There were three, all wearing trainee uniforms. The one in the center, definitely the leader, sneered at him. Apprehension sparked against his skin. This situation screamed danger.

"For one of the _best pilots_ , you sure don't look like much." The center one spoke, confirming his suspicions. His voice conveyed layers of emotion, picked apart by Felix's mind and made sense of in the tiny span of seconds between words. Distrust and anger, both unfounded and incorrectly projected onto the newest Ranger.

As his mind worked to determine what their objective was, the leader reached over and plucked the rest of his biscuit from his tray. Hyunjin got out an angry 'hey!' before it was dropped on the floor.

Felix's lips twisted and he leaned back a bit. "Was that really necessary?"

The trainee sneered. "You think you deserve to eat? Losing Polar Four like that ... you've got alotta nerve walking in here like nothing happened. You gonna lose Cerulean Reverie too?"

Felix rose to his feet, good mood completely gone. "I don't know who you're trying to impress but I guarantee you're failing."

"Ha! You're one to talk about failure. I'm sure your partner learned about that the hard way."

Anger rushed through him, hot and dangerous, and the air surrounding the table grew dark. Time slowed down for just a moment as he struggled to decide if a fight was worth it. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to wipe that smirk from the young trainee's face. His lips parted but before Felix could even get a sound out, he was cut off by another voice.

"This is a war, not middle school. That's no way to speak to a senior Ranger."

The color drained from the trainee's face and he could feel the tension grow thick around them. It only took a few moments of searching to realize who the words came from. Whatever 'bigger than thou' complex the three trainees had drained away immediately, all three lining up. Not a single noise escaped the three trainees, bodies slack in realization they were about to be reprimanded, _hard_. Their eyes fixated on the floor. Chan stood just beyond, arms crossed and expression serious. Woojin was at his side, arms tucked behind his back and disbelief scrawled across his features.

"You guys have a lot of balls talking to him like that. You're behind big steel doors, comfortable and as safe as one can be, and you're talking down to a Ranger who has actually been on the field of battle? All three of you are disgraceful. I don't know why you joined this program if you're going to act like that, but maybe becoming a Jaeger Pilot isn't for you."

The words were deep, having the desired effect Chan seemed to be going for. The leader of the trio dropped his shoulders even further, muttering an apology. Seconds of tense silence passed before Chan motioned for them to walk away.

Anger still simmering in his heart, Felix slumped back into his seat. The others seemed to sense his discomfort and didn't try speaking for a moment, Chan and Woojin taking advantage of the quiet to settle on the opposite side of the table.

A hand hovered into his field of view, Felix raising his eyes to see Seungmin drop his biscuit upon his tray. The gesture, though small, brought back a bit of good into him, and the mood seemed to lift with the appearance of his smile.

"Are you okay, Felix?" Hyunjin's lips drew into a small pout.

He waved his hand. "I'm alright. Thank you for the biscuit, Seungmin." Felix looked to Chan. "Thank you for dealing with them as well." _Because things were about to get ugly._

The words weren't spoken, but the weight was there; Chan seemed to know this. "Yeah of course, you're part of this little family now. We gotta look out for each other."

"What you said was true though." Woojin munched on a piece of chicken, voice muffled as he spoke. "They have no place to criticize. Can't believe they did it with Hyunjin and Seungmin right here too."

Jeongin's hand shot up in the corner of his eye, waving a fork around. "They're just jealous, Felix. Don't take it to heart!"

He said a quiet thank you once more, and the table turned into chatter among all of them. Eventually, Minho and Jisung joined them, adding more sound that clashed with the ambiance of everyone else in the cafeteria. Felix appreciated the company, even when Jisung attempted to flip a strawberry in his mouth and somehow splash water all over everyone at the same time.

As the lot laughed and smiled, Felix couldn't help but notice how one of them was missing. He glanced around the cafeteria but his eyes didn't fall upon the reason for his search. Chan caught his wandering gaze with a knowing look, just giving a subtle shake of his head. Felix really shouldn't be surprised. Changbin didn't seem like the type to go out of his way to socialize. His attention went back to his food and he focused wholeheartedly on finishing off his mac and cheese.

Before they knew it an hour had passed. With training in the morning and Jeongin still needing to do maintenance, the group slowly dispersed until only Chan, Woojin, and Felix remained at the table. But they too eventually stood up to leave, Chan giving a reassuring pat upon his shoulder. They said their good evenings and went on their way, leaving Felix alone. He stayed there a bit longer and simply watched as the cafeteria continue to grow emptier and emptier. Eventually, all that remained was a lone man in the corner; he mirrored Felix's situation. The sight brought a melancholic feeling into his chest.

Sighing softly, Felix pushed himself to his feet and set about taking care of his tray. Shoving his hands into his pockets, the Ranger just started walking. His mind was still too active to sleep and, well, he wasn't really sure where to go. It appeared his subconscious had an idea though and eventually Felix found himself in front of the training room. His eyes raised, staring at the glowing lights scattered around the door. He simply took a moment to soak in the situation he currently found himself in. This was something he'd always wanted as a child, but actually being within Hong Kong, closer than ever to the very evil plaguing the world, felt so surreal.

The thoughts quickly found a slope into a world Felix tried his best to avoid. What would the world have been like without Kaiju? Without a constant threat of death and destruction hidden beneath miles of water? Movies always portrayed the perfect family situation. Nice childhood, plenty of toys, family always a call away ... and now most of the people in their current reality were fortunate if they weren't missing at least one family member. It was a world from another time, far from what most of today's younger generations experienced. And it was that realization, as far back as he could remember, which motivated him to become a trainee.

A soft ' _whump!_ ' pulled his mind back. Felix looked back to the doorway, wondering if he'd imagined it. Seconds of silence ticked by before another muffled noise cut through the hallway. It appeared he wasn't the only one with a restless mind.

He peered around the door, trying to get a peek at whoever was up this late as well. The white spotlight drenched the center of the room, lighting up the ring, while the lights along the back wall blinked and flickered as they calculated various stats. At first glance, the room looked empty, and Felix was a bit freaked out. His eyes caught the whisk of a shadow right as he was about to go on his way and his attention was once again captured. He narrowed his eyes to make out whoever — or whatever — was in the room. As soon as his vision adjusted, he silently chided himself for being nervous about it.

The person had their back to him, maneuvering around the standing punching bag, hitting it with a mix of hard and soft blows. Their attention was completely focused on their training, hands shifting in a flurry of movement. Felix watched in admiration. His movements were fluid, sure, but the mystery person had a certain grace around their body. Every stray punch, every position of their feet, all of it; this person was a professional.

Unfortunately for Felix, he realized why it was so familiar the same moment the other person caught sight of his prying eyes.

Mystery person with fluid grace was none other than Changbin.

Deep down, Felix wished he had just kept on walking, but Chan's words echoed in his mind. He'd promised to make this work, not only for Changbin's sake, but for the sake of STRAY and, really, the whole world. It was ... a lot of responsibility for him. _A grounded Jaeger is a useless Jaeger._

"Oh, it's you." Changbin leaned back on his heels, same intense gaze focused directly on him. "You're up pretty late."

Felix regarded him in silence for a few moments, simply studying Changbin's expression. He tried his hardest to make sense of the emotion the man was attempting to convey but in all honesty, he couldn't really find anything. "So are you. Do you always train this late at night?"

Changbin shrugged, motioning for Felix to enter the room. "Most of the trainees are asleep right now. I like it better when there's less people here."

He stepped within the training room, the cool flow of air sending a shiver down his spine. As he drew closer, he noticed more and more equipment just strewn around the room. Three empty water bottles lay scattered across the floor, with a fourth about halfway finished. He eventually found what he was looking for though; granola bar wrappers upon one of the bags. No one Changbin wasn't at dinner and who knew how long he'd been in here grinding away.

"You prefer the quiet or the cold?"

"Maybe a bit of both." Changbin snatched up the water bottle, chugging the rest of the liquid within. "Believe it or not, but a fair number of the trainees are afraid of me."

That Felix believed.

"Well, you do have the whole dark and spooky angst aesthetic going on." He gestured vaguely to the scattered rubbish. "You ate something more than handful of granola bars I hope."

Changbin actually laughed, catching Felix off guard. "Dark and spooky. Chan says the same thing, were you talking to him?" The Ranger followed the same gesture. "I survive on granola bars and determination alone."

"Someone had to give me a bit of a briefing."

"Briefing, hmm ..." Changbin's voice trailed off, and he aimlessly pushed at the punching bag. His face had a thoughtful expression for a moment before his eyes focused right on Felix again. "Spare with me. I want to see if that connection was real."

Felix's fingers slowly curled up, nails digging into his palm. The words the other man uttered continued to expand the guarded quiet between them, like a predator and prey regarding one another in their final moments. The aura was dangerous, but not for bad reasons. "You're on. Don't expect me to go easy just because no one's watching."

Changbin laughed for a second time, the sound of velco echoing in the room as he readjusted his glove. "I'd be a little offended if you did go easy on me. I think I can handle it."

The faintest smirk tugged at his lips, and Felix readied his fists. If this was going to be anything like their session this morning, he had to be prepared for long and hard. This wasn't sparring so much as it was figuring out who would grow exhausted first. Felix was determined to win and, perhaps, prove his worth to Changbin.

"Alright, _dark and spooky_ , bring it on." He crooked a finger, and almost immediately spun to the right as Changbin rushed in. It was a sharp movement, one Felix barely caught, and Changbin's fingers scraped along his back.

Felix executed the same move from the morning, kicking back to catch the other man in the knee. His movement still wasn't anticipated despite using it multiple times already. Changbin dropped but not for long, using the momentum from the sudden shift in gravity to roll away. Felix went after him, managing to gain a hold on Changbin's arm. He pressed it into the Ranger's back, digging his knee between his shoulder blades to keep him there.

"Ooo, look at you! Too bad though."

Before Felix could react, Changbin's thighs pressed tightly to Felix's foot. The pressure was enough to make him wince and that was all the opening Changbin needed. He rolled opposite his pinned arm with enough force to loosen the grip Felix had, sending him flying. There was no time to lay there, however, and his feet slipped as he scrambled back upright.

Changbin had that gleam in his eyes again. Felix felt adrenaline running through his body and he raised his fists once more. It'd been a long, long time since he'd fought someone able to keep up with him.

The Ranger launched into his rapid punch technique, Felix dodging side to side. It wasn't a fighting style he was used to and his mind went into overdrive attempting to figure out how to get out of the way. He quickly settled on the method from that morning and ducked under, shooting beside Changbin and once again going for the back of his knee. Changbin, however, was prepared for it this time. A hand snatched his ankle at the last second. It caught him so off guard he gasped, Changbin using his body weight to pull Felix to the ground.

He barely had time to process before he was pinned. Changbin was smirking down at him. "Your technique is balance; mine is melee. You figured me out this morning, so I spent all day doing the same."

"Thanks. Too bad you didn't pin me face down." Felix jerked his body to the left, sending Changbin's leg flat on the ground. He used the shift in gravity to shove him off.

Changbin wasn't someone who went down easy though. It wasn't surprising he was back to standing within seconds, rushing towards Felix with a slightly sour expression. The flurry of punches came his way once more and Felix took the time to study for a different opportunity. Changbin continued to push him further and further back across the room. Right as he was nearing his limit, he spotted the opening.

He had to time this perfectly otherwise it would hurt. Even with that risk, he knew he had to take it; regardless of whether it worked he was losing steam. Zeroing in on Changbin's arm, his entire attention went into slowing down the arc of the punch. Felix's own arm shot out right as Changbin punched, fingers curling around his wrist. The sudden upset brought the dark-haired Ranger to a grinding halt, eyes wide at the realization that Felix caught his full force punch.

Felix met those shocked eyes and inhaled sharply. "I'm calling it. Draw."

Changbin's lips parted, gaze still alternating between the hand upon him and Felix's face. "Uh ... yeah, draw."

Thus, Felix let go. He stepped back and let out a loud sigh of relief. With their sparring session halted, the man slipped to the floor. "You really know how to throw a punch!" His fingers massaged the sore spots he'd been hit. Even his ankle was a little red from Changbin's grip.

There was no denying it now; they were, without a doubt, Drift Compatible. Everything down to their fighting styles complemented each other perfectly. Even their personalities, if people wanted to go there. All he needed to do now was convince Changbin to actually attempt to Drift with him. Chan's words echoed within his mind but he'd made a promise. Destiny was a fickle thing, and Felix refused to believe it was Caspian's destiny to die, but maybe, perhaps, Hong Kong was where he was meant to be this whole time. Here, working with Changbin.

His eyes traveled over to Changbin, who was currently drinking another surprise bottle of water, and struggled with his thoughts for a moment. After several moments of contemplation, he steeled himself.

"Changbin. I think we shou—"

Felix's voice was cut off by a deafening alarm, ringing sharply throughout the entire Shatterdome. Changbin's water fell to the floor, spilling across the floor; it would be the least of their concerns that night. The intercom above their heads crackled with static for a moment. "Category three Kaiju emerging from the Breach! Rangers of Candor Sunrise and Midnight Ethereal, please prepare for deployment!"

His heart sank and for the first time since losing Polar Four, the realization that he was useless settled deep within his bones.  
  



	3. dark on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooof an update! this update isn't as long as this is mostly a filler / bridge chapter into the larger plot! i broke up some of my plans, as 1-3 were all supposed to be one chapter, so i wanted to at least fix that problem!  
> chapter title is from a starset song and fits the mood of this waaay too well lol,,
> 
> warning for angst, graphic violence, near-death experiences, and some emotional things
> 
> i'm so sorry!

_There was a time in the past we laughed and smiled, but joy became a concept best left to storybooks. In time, we forgot what it meant to be happy._

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

_"You sure you have what it takes to become a Jaeger Pilot?"_

_Felix pushed out his lower lip, pouting from where he was sitting on the floor. "You caught me off guard! You know I don't like being snuck up on!"_

_Caspian laughed, green eyes twinkling. He held out his hand and Felix reluctantly took it, allowing himself to be hoisted back onto his feet. "Always be on your guard, Felix. Never know when something might happen."_

_"I know, I know." Felix took the time to dust his shorts off. The weather was warm today, prompting the two childhood friends to head to a local swimming spot. Not the ocean though, never the ocean. Caspian had disappeared into some bushes and, while Felix had been searching for him, jumped from behind a tree. He'd never quite taken jumpscares well._

_They began walking down the path again, Caspian swinging his shoes back and forth as they went. His eyes were pointed to the blue sky, trees casting shade upon his face. "I'm just teasing, Felix. We're gonna be the best Rangers the world has ever seen!"_

_The younger of the pair threw up his fist, cheering. "Yeah! We can do anything!"_

_Caspian laughed; it was a sound Felix never thought he'd be without._

——— ( o ) ———

 

It was hard to describe the feeling within Felix's body. It filled every inch, from fingertips to toes, and his heart twitched within his chest. Anxiety and fear, liquid fire within his veins, consumed his entire being. This would be the first deployment of a Jaeger since he arrived and the weight of his inability to provide assistance hung heavily above him.

Changbin sprang into action out of the corner of his eye, tossing a roll of paper towels upon the spilled water. Hurried steps led him to the door, and he turned to wave his arm for Felix to follow. "Come on, we need to go to the control room."

Felix took a deep breath and forced himself to ignore his feelings. They were filed and set aside, such was the life of a Ranger. He followed after Changbin as the alarm continued to sound overhead. Picking their way through the Shatterdome, he became acutely aware of how different the atmosphere now was. The place was alive with activity and in another world such a thing would be incredible. But here, when their lives could end at any moment, it was a somber gathering.

As they made their way through the crowd, they passed by Candor Sunrise. Several mechanics scurried around near the base, making their final checks. From across the way, Felix locked eyes with one of them. He looked familiar but Felix couldn't tell from so far away whether it was Jeongin or not. Figuring it out wasn't important in that moment, however, and the Ranger turned to catch up with Changbin's much quicker pace.

"Opening bay doors. Please stand clear." The sudden voice over the intercom scared him. Felix pretended he didn't see the look Changbin threw at him.

By the time they reached the command center, Hyunjin and Seungmin were already there. Felix nodded in their direction, filing in besides them. Though silence spanned between them, the room was anything but. People milled about in every corner, every chair containing a body, and the room lay brimming with tension. Their Marshal stood in the center, arms crossed behind his back and barking orders to those around him. Felix sucked in a sharp breath, once again fighting against the feelings surging through his body. They were a mix of fear and anxious, but the most overpowering came in the form of just how useless he felt. Those in Project STRAY were highly trained and specifically chosen for their skills but the notion that everything could go wrong in the blink of an eye hung heavily against everyone.

Hyunjin nudged him gently, expression concerned. "You okay, Felix?"

Realizing he'd been caught, Felix straightened himself a bit. "I'm good! You know, minus the kaiju wandering around outside."

Seungmin peered around his partner, brow furrowed. His attempt at a minor joke was ignored. "This is your first time near combat since ... the accident, right? You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

Part of him was a bit upset at the coddling, but deep down Felix understood; he knew they were just worried for the new recruit. "Don't worry, it's fine. I need to see the way you guys handle combat anyway."

Moments of tense silence passed between the three of them before a loud beep pulled their attention away. "Initiating Neural Handshake!" Felix's gaze jerked forward, eyes training on the hologram table taking up the center of the room. Split projections of the interiors of Candor and Midnight hovered above, showing the Rangers within standing perfectly still. A flicker of emotion passed through Chan's face, and Woojin looked a bit frazzled. The moment their Drift began, their expressions fell into nothing, Minho and Jisung mirroring them. "Connections established. Handshake holding strong!"

A collective breath escaped into the room. No matter how many times Drift Partners went in together, they always carried the possibility of becoming entangled in memories. The Marshal turned to stare at the hologram in the center. His face was stern and intense, a complete opposite of what he'd been upon Felix's first interaction. "Candor, Midnight, your mission is to find and eliminate the kaiju, code name Crippleclaw. Keep it away from land and proceed to engage. Drop!" The Marshal's voice, strong and commanding, immediately hushed the room.

A screech of metal so loud it traveled all the way to the command center echoed around the Shatterdome, and the massive bodies of Candor Sunrise and Midnight Ethereal dropped into the ocean with a large splash. Their forms, even though a hologram, hummed with power, and Felix's heart clenched in his chest. They immediately began their trek to the blip on the radar off to the left, the kaiju it belonged to moving at a rapid pace. Good thing was, it didn't seem to be heading towards a city. Bad news, however, was Crippleclaw happened to be heading straight for the Shatterdome and the Jaegers awaiting it.

Midnight reached the kaiju first. It rose from the sea with a deafening roar, massive body glowing blue and eyes bright and angry. Four arms protruded from its midsection, the upper two adorned with large crab-like claws covered in spikes; the faintest hint of blue glowed at the tips. Crippleclaw was appropriately named, and the kaiju seemed cut straight from a nightmare. Wasting no time, Crippleclaw lunged straight for Midnight, claws snapping around the left arm. Their body stumbled back from the force of it, the surprised sounds Jisung and Minho made tumbling over the audio.

This didn't last long though and Jisung swung their right arm into the side of the kaiju's head, loosening the grip upon them just enough to free it. Another punch connected with the angry beast's lower jaw, a screech filling the room. Candor arrived at that moment, immediately jumping into action. Crippleclaw, distracted now by sleek red metal, raised all four claws and launched at Candor's body. The kaiju narrowly missed them, claws scraping across their chest. A massive wave of water surged from where it fell back into the ocean.

Midnight reached down after it, a hand curling unseen around Crippleclaw's back legs. They pulled, freeing the kaiju from the depths of dark water. Candor got into position beside it, readying the plasma cannons within open palms. This was a common tactic the two Jaegers relied on, playing off the strengths of one another. One held while the other placed the killing blow, a method utilized frequently. Crippleclaw wouldn't go down without a fight, however, and claws gripped Candor's leg with incredible force.

It knocked them off balance, the first blast of their cannon narrowly missing Midnight's body. The second hit Crippleclaw's back, earning a screech of anger and a sharp twist of its clawed hand. Midnight pulled hard but the attempt fell flat. The kaiju surged upwards, using the ocean floor for purchase, and slammed full force into Candor's upper body. Candor landed on its back against the ocean floor, water rushing over their body immediately. Within the hologram, everyone stood in the room got a movie theater showcase of what went down.

It was here that everything went to hell.

Chan and Woojin called out to each other but it was too late; whatever they had sensed beforehand proved futile. Woojin's body lurched, swinging violently in the harness meant to secure him, and the sturdy web of metal and cables came undone. His entire body fell back against Candor's interior, and even through distant audio, the sound of his head smashing into the wall resounded down to their very bones. Chan's agonized scream cut deep into Felix's core, and the leader of STRAY threw his head back. " _Woojin!_ "

There was no time for Chan to check on him, however, as Crippleclaw descended upon Candor's downed body. Claws dug deeply into Candor's shoulders, the kaiju roaring as water flooded into the Jaeger's joints. Chan, through sheer willpower, or perhaps the need to protect his partner, forced Candor upright, a screech of pained exertion streaming from his raw throat. Raising both legs, he kicked into Crippleclaw's stomach with full force, breaking the massive beast free; it crashed into the ocean in much the same manner Candor was in. Chan went limp from the amount of mental power he'd just used. No movement came from Woojin's direction, but the sound of his heartbeat rapidly going on the monitor before them gave clue that he was still very much alive.

The combined yells of Minho and Jisung cut through the thick atmosphere, Midnight dancing into view to take over for the downed Candor Sunrise.

Their Marshal immediately whipped around, pointing at Seungmin and Hyunjin. "Prepare Lunar Vortex for deployment!"

The Rangers in question scrambled into action, the entire room going into a flurry of shouting and movement. Their fight with Crippleclaw lasted barely five minutes but it felt like a lifetime. Changbin was trying to get his attention, but Felix's mind had become completely entranced by the image of Chan and Woojin before him. Unpleasant memories washed over him, and the feeling of being severed from Caspian clogged his throat. Within seconds, he was hyperventilating, and he dropped to the floor to bury his face within his hands. It was too much to witness so soon after losing his own partner. A warm hand pressed against his shoulder, the voice belonging to it trying hard to break through his panic attack.

Felix's hands were gripped tightly, gently pried away from his face, and Changbin's came into view. Bottom lip quivering, the roaring in his ears settled enough for him to hear what the man was saying.

"... lix! Felix! Look at me!"

Hands trembling in the strong ones holding them, he tried his hardest to look at Changbin. But the shame burning deep within kept him from making full eye contact.

"Focus on my breathing, don't look at the screen. Woojin's alive, Chan's alive; it'll be alright. Lunar is on the way." Changbin's words spilled out, tumbling over one another, and Felix wondered just who he was trying to calm. He listened, however, staring at the other Ranger's lips as he attempted to steady his breathing. "There you go."

As he came down from the attack, he finally managed to meet Changbin's eyes; concern burned brightly within. He didn't want pity for the things he'd lived through and luckily Changbin seemed to catch onto that. "I'm alright, I'm sorry, this is just a lot."

"Don't apologize. You good to stand?" Fingers flexed gently against his hands.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said, breath shaky; he accepted Changbin's help in rising. The way the man handled his panic attack reminded him so much of Caspian, a slew of unwanted memories crashing into his mind. Fighting to steel himself, Felix looked back to the screen before them. Midnight still danced through the water around Crippleclaw, staying annoying out of reach of the enraged beast. Their tactics were enough to keep Candor untouched but it was clear they were quickly running out of steam. The Marshal's eyes were trained on the pair as Felix rose, something unreadable in his expression, before the man turned back to observe the screens before them.

Minimizing the screen Chan and Woojin were on, Lunar's cockpit came into view on the left side. Hyunjin and Seungmin were in full suit, expressions dark and determined, a call out of 'initiating handshake!' resonated in the room. A sharp flicker of pain came across Hyunjin's face, and his eyes flicked to Seungmin as they attempted to settle into their Drift. It was clear Seungmin was clinging to a memory, but dealing with it in that moment wasn't important. Time was against them after all.

Here, Felix witnessed the speed Lunar Vortex possessed. Appropriately named, the Jaeger happened to be the fastest ever built, and sailed through the ocean with a fluid grace. They wasted no time in reaching the tiring Midnight Ethereal, raising a leg and bringing it down heavily against Crippleclaw's head. The beast screeched but Lunar gave no time to react, the handshake meter on the screen indicating the amount of emotion dangerously close to brimming over. Lunar grasped the bottom two clawed hands and yanked as hard as they could, tearing them free from the kaiju's body. Luminescent blue scattered into the ocean, Crippleclaw's massive mouth opening as it screamed in defiance.

Midnight swung upwards, slamming a closed fist into the bottom of the kaiju's jaw. The beast twisted around, slashing out at Lunar's body. Claws hooked against their waist, pulling the Jaeger with it. Lunar allowed their body to travel with, spinning to the right out of Crippleclaw's grasp. "Deploying plasma sword!" Jisung's voice echoed loudly, bright blue arching out from Midnight's right hand. They raised the weapon and brought it down with heavy force, driving the blade right through the center of Crippleclaw's back. With the kaiju pinned, Lunar placed its head in a choke hold and twisted. The creature's loud screeching immediately fell silent, washing the room in quiet apprehension.

Looking over their shoulder, one of the scientists locked eyes with Felix. His blood ran cold at just how empty their expression was, and even though it lasted barely a second, he felt like everything had been sucked out of him. "Kaiju signature terminated," they said, meeting the eyes of the Marshal. A nod followed, and the scientist turned back to their station.

An arm shot out. "Deploy rescue teams! Retrieve Candor Sunrise and attend to its Pilots immediately!" His voice grew quiet. "We cannot afford to lose the leader of Project STRA—" The Marshal's voice was cut off by a bout of coughing, eyes traveling up to the screen.

Chan had awoken, his expression a mix of pain and panic. He unhooked himself from the harness, landing on the bottom of Candor's head with a yelp. Despite the obvious look of strain adorning him, he limped towards Woojin's body. His knees buckled halfway but Chan was not deterred, resorting to crawling. "Woojin! Answer me!"

Bile rose in Felix's throat as he watched, eyes wide; the scene was something intimate and terrifying. Not a single soul dared to speak.

"Please, answer me!" Woojin didn't move, and Chan collapsed into a heap beside his body. Through the camera attached to the man's helmet, they could see a glisten of blood along Woojin's temple, eyes shut and lips parted. His breathing was shallow. "You can't go like this," Chan said, voice devolving into a choked sob. Here, remaining strong for everyone didn't matter, and the atmosphere grew heavy. "Please ... you promised I could meet her. You promised!" Chan curled up next to Woojin's body, clearly exhausted from their ordeal. The Marshal called out to him but there was no response; he passed out clutching Woojin's hand.

The Marshal lowered his head. "Everyone else is dismissed."

Felix immediately whipped around, fleeing from the room. After witnessing Chan and Woojin in such a state, he needed to be literally anywhere else. Despite this, the feelings coursing through him were not of fear or upset. They were, overwhelmingly so, a reminder of just how _useless_ he currently was. Without a Drift Partner, he could do nothing, and being presented with that fact so starkly before him hurt deep within his core. Woojin was alive, Chan was alive, but without the medics attending to them just yet, no one knew of their full conditions. They were alive, but they could easily not be within seconds; they'd nearly lost the backbone of Project STRAY.

Hands curling into fists, his nails dug sharply into his palms. Determination spread like wildfire throughout his veins. In that moment, his resolve doubled. He had to find a partner—quickly. Eyes burning with newfound resolve, he made his way to the bay area.

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

_It was hard to describe the feelings rushing through his body. His body was floating, suspended in black space without a single light in view, and yet he could still see perfectly. He raised a hand, looking at his open palm in absolute awe._

_A sound echoed from somewhere to his right, and Felix turned into the memory as it exploded into color around him. Stars twinkled above, moon hidden behind several large clouds, just enough light creeping onto the forest floor. Twigs snapping upon the ground provided the only sound, and a tiny version of himself cowered against a tree. His hands were raised in front of his face, cheeks wet with tears while his entire body trembled in fear. Just beyond him, concealed by never ending darkness, milled a countless number of dingoes, their glinting eyes the only sign of their forms._

_A single growl turned into the whole pack joining, the leader regarding Felix's tiny form with hunger. He took a step towards the younger version of himself, calling out despite knowing in the back of his mind that he wouldn't be heard. His dream-self curled against the tree he was clinging to, sobbing loudly as he accepted that this would be the end of him. The feelings his past self were feeling flooded into his current body, the overwhelming sense of fear and panic locking up his movements._

_Without warning, a form leaped from around the corner of a nearby boulder. The stranger shouted, raising a torch ablaze with fire at the pack of dingoes. Startled and afraid of the flame before them, the pack scattered, criss-crossing paths as they raced back into the darkness. It was the younger version of Caspian, his expression stern and fists raised as he chased away the creatures intent on making Felix their meal._

_Caspian bent down, and Felix jumped into his arms. His younger self cried into Caspian's shoulder, clinging to him like a baby. He watched the scene as relief flooded his body, heart skipping in his chest. This was the first time the two had ever met, thus bringing forth Felix owing Caspian more than he could ever repay._

_All at once, the memory cut short, pulling him back into darkness. Their minds reconnected and the Drift solidified. He sought out his partner with a solemn expression. Drifting for the first time brought about chasing the rabbit, a problem tough to harness and even harder to deal with. Despite it being Felix's memory, it wasn't him who went down the rabbit hole._

_It was Caspian._

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

Chan and Woojin, though both unconscious, returned to the Shatterdome safely. It took the combined efforts of Midnight and Lunar to return Candor's limp body. The sight was haunting, seeing such a mighty Jaeger as little more than a rag doll. Tension within the hangar only grew worse at the realization that Candor Sunrise would be out of play until Chan and Woojin recovered.

The four other Rangers looked exhausted upon exiting their Jaegers, none of them looking up to conversation. Felix didn't quite feel like it either, so he left them alone while they went off to take a shower. There was nothing the rest of Project STRAY could do for their lead pair other than wait for a call from the medic to visit. Thus, without direction, Felix found himself back at the training room. It was still in the same state Changbin and him had left it in, paper towels now sopping wet with the previously spilled water. The lights flickered to life as he entered the room.

Felix immediately dropped into formation but didn't move further than that. He stared at himself reflected upon the wall, the eyes looking back hollow. His hands were raised above his head, ready to strike down if needed, body hunched over in a low crouch. Despite knowing it was him, the person he was looking at felt so far from the one he knew. Felix knew this, however; part of him died too when Caspian's link was severed. His body went slack, Felix sinking to the floor in the center of the expansive training room. In that moment, he felt so incredibly small, the walls arching around his form. The only thing that grounded him in that moment was the coolness of the floor against the back of his hands.

He felt so incredibly selfish sitting there. Chan and Woojin were the ones in pain, yet he couldn't stop the emotions surging into every inch of his body. In a time where it mattered most, he could do nothing ... just like when he'd lost Polar Four and the only person he had left. When the time came for Felix to save Caspian from monsters, he had done nothing, and it was a fact still very much eating him alive. No amount of relocation and distraction could make him forget those feelings. He buried his face into cold fingers, hoping it would stave off the tears threatening to spill over; his attempt failed. Alone in the practice room, surrounded by chilling silence, Felix let everything out of him.

So easily did people forget Project STRAY were fresh adults already fighting demons most of the human race would never see in person. The risks were understood, and maybe even accepted, but deep down they would never forget the childhood stolen.

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

Standing in the center of the room the next day, Felix was scarily calm. He showed no signs of the breakdown had within the same spot mere hours before. Instead, his eyes focused on the entryway to the training room. Several trainees and other Rangers had filed into expansive space, regarding him with the same calm. Felix had promised he'd attempt to pair with Changbin, but he couldn't afford to wait for the man to come around right now. Though, deep down, he hoped the urgency of the situation forced the moody man to see just how dire everything was. Scanning the candidates who had showed up for his sparring session, he took a deep breath.

_A grounded Jaeger is a useless Jaeger._

Chan's words bit harshly into him, despite knowing they weren't directed for himself. If he had to take Cerulean Reverie away from Changbin, then so be it. He couldn't sit on the sidelines waiting for the next attack when he could be out on the field helping save the day.

The training room doors slid open. Parting his lips, Felix's words fizzled out in his throat. Standing there, dressed in all black training clothes, hands shoved far within his pockets, was none other than Seo Changbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me at @jisungpng on twt!


	4. heroes are made, not born

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a?? chapter?? //softly laughs  
> a n y w a y s this is a longer one and does feature pov shifting / flashbacks A LOT so I apologize if it's confusing! x__x 
> 
> also I totally forgot to mention, but everyone's ages are different as Heck in this fic! I'm trying to follow canon plotline to a certain point, so for woojin & chan they were born in 2006! everyone else is pretty easy from there!!
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoy a bit of a longer update!!

_What was it like to be without burden, without fear, without obligation? It was a dream left unobtainable._

 

——— ( o ) ———

 

The air pressed heavily against his skin, stuffy and stale. Chan felt as bad as he looked; a mere ghost draped in skin and sinew. Hollow and gaunt and exhausted. It'd been two days since Candor Sunrise's near-deadly failure and Woojin hadn't stirred since. Not even a flutter of lashes or a quiet sigh indicated the life flowing through him. Woojin mirrored Chan, face lax and empty, heart monitor beeping rhythmically in the distance. Chan should've been in bed too, really, but attempts to get him to rest were in vain. Though his eyes sat rimmed in shadow, he had no plans of leaving Woojin's side anytime soon.

Sighing quietly, the leader of STRAY reached out and gently pulled Woojin's hand into his own. His fingers were cold and still, nails broken and fingertips rough. It felt eerie staring down at them. Woojin had always been a clean person, and he'd have a fit over the dirt resting comfortably beneath his nails. He'd have a fit over Chan's sorry state too, not that it was anything new. Chan was used to the nagging. That was their dynamic and the thought of losing Woojin absolutely terrified him.

From their closeness, most assumed they grew up together, but that wasn't the case. Following the destruction of Manila and Sydney, they'd met by chance in a safe haven located deep within South Korea. The first time Chan seen him, he hadn't been far off from what he looked like now. Tired and broken, eyes hollow and distant. Unlike Chan, who had arrived with his father, Woojin had no one. Once he was much, much older, Chan wondered just what had kept him going, but at the time he'd just been grateful for a friend. Chan's father treated Woojin as if he were his own. They became a makeshift little family in a world already so full of cruelty and fear. If they had left him there, he probably would've let go within a year. Such was the way of those born in the era of kaiju.

Thus, when the time came, it surprised neither of them when Chan's father volunteered to test and train for the Jaeger Program. He had always been a hero in the making. They were relocated to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, where a new life of fear, excitement, and uncertainty awaited them. Chan and Woojin witnessed the Jaeger Program being built from the ground up, being introduced to the reality of war from a young age. And though the records were 'lost' in constant shifts of data, served as some of the early subjects for Pons and Drifting. Their bond proved the stronger the connection, the better the Drift.

Chan's father went on to become one of, if not the best, Rangers in the program. His selfless attitude and desire to end the kaiju threat brought honor beyond his imagination. Unknown to everyone at the time, the side effects of Mark-1 Jaegers would bring about a set of obstacles for all who Piloted them.

Not many knew of their past together and, really, it didn't matter. What mattered were their abilities on the field and how many lives they'd managed to save. Once, the youngest Rangers in the field, now the backbone of a program meant to save all of humanity; Chan and Woojin were as essential to each other as the moon to the sun.

The heart monitor speeding up snapped him out of his trance. Chan refocused his attention up Woojin's face. Nothing had changed. His breathing remained level, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. Within seconds, it fell back into its usual pace.

"Are you dreaming, Woojin?" The shadows in the room almost hissed at the intrusion of his voice. "Hopefully about something good. Somewhere with a bunch of chicken." Chan laughed, but the noise sounded hollow. His fingers gently squeezed the hand rested upon them but they did not return the action.

The click of a door behind him caught his attention but Chan didn't look to see who it was; he didn't need to. He kept his eyes focused on Woojin's face, heart clenching in his chest. Moments of tense silence passed and Chan almost thought he was imagining it, before the exact voice he was expecting flooded over him.

"You can't sit in here forever."

"With all due respect, Marshal, I highly doubt I'm of much use out of here at the moment."

The Marshal sighed from somewhere behind him. "You have a team to lead, Mr. Bang; they need your guidance too."

Chan didn't answer, raising a hand to scrub at his face. Deep down, or maybe not so deep, he knew the man was correct but working up the courage to trust Woojin would get better had taken a lot out of him already; he didn't know if he was ready.

A hand gently gripped his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "I know you want to b here when he wakes up," the Marshal said, voice quiet, "but he'll kick your ass if he wakes up and realizes you didn't take care of yourself again."

"I know, I know." Chan laughed, though it came out rather awkwardly. "I remember when he took away my computer for a week to force me to sleep."

"Ah, I remember that. That wasn't all Woojin."

Still, Chan didn't turn. "I had a feeling you were in on it. Woojin isn't the type to just take my things."

The Marshal sighed, squeezing his shoulder once more. "He isn't. He isn't the type to just give up either." He let go. "You have to trust he'll recover." Footsteps gave clue to the man walking away, presumably back to the door; a click of it being opened confirmed Chan's suspicions. "Get some rest, Chan. Please."

Seconds of silence passed before the Marshal exited the room, the sound of the door falling shut causing Chan's body to sag ungracefully. Only then did he look to the door, eyes trained unblinkingly upon the handle. "I'll try ... dad."

——— ( o ) ———

_"Chan, you won't believe what just happened!"_

_The sound of Woojin's excited voice made him look up from his laptop immediately, fingers coming to a halt on worn keys. Woojin was walking towards him with a piece of paper grasped tightly in one hand and an expression Chan had never seen him with before; he looked ready to cry._

_"Are you okay? What's up?" He pushed his laptop away, giving full attention to his excited partner. Woojin sat next to him, the paper fluttering to the table before them. Chan looked between it and his partner's face._

_"I got a letter ... from a hospital in Seoul." He sat back, fingers splayed across paper so pristine in almost didn't look real. "There's a patient there. She recently woke up and," Woojin paused, taking a deep breath, "she says she's my mom."_

_Chan blinked in surprise. How someone could survive being in the epicenter of the Manila incident was, quite literally, a miracle. "Are you ... are you sure it's her, Woojin? N-not that I'm not excited for you but, like, are you sure?"_

_Woojin smiled in that bright way of his. Normally that smile had the power to melt away all of his worries; it did no such thing this time. "It's a start, Chan. I've already been approved to go meet her."_

_"That's great, Woojin! I hope it really is her." Chan pressed his hand against Woojin's own, offering support. "You're gonna have a bit of vacation away from training too. I'm so jealous!"_

_"I wouldn't really call it a vacation, but it is a break."_

_"Fair. Say, you wanna go grab dinner and we can talk more about it along the way?" He rose to his feet, motioning for Woojin to follow._

_His partner did so, folding the paper neatly; it was tucked into his pocket. "Sure! Maybe we'll get lucky enough to snag some pizza before the older trainees!"_

_"Maybe!" Chan clutched his laptop tightly to his chest, feeling fear prickle at his toes. Unspoken fears spanned between them with enough length to match the Breach itself._

——— ( o ) ———

Chan woke from the dream with a start, jerking back from Woojin's side hard enough to send pain exploding through his neck. He groaned softly, rubbing at the epicenter of his new problem. His free hand immediately sought out Woojin's, giving it a reassuring squeeze that was more for his sake than the slumbering man next to him. The dream hasn't been bad at all but something in it had triggered his fight or flight response. Deep down he knew, but Chan would never admit it out loud, especially not to Woojin; his fear of losing the only thing worth protecting boiled within.

Burying his face in his hands, memories flooded through him like light exploding against your eye lids. Bright and hot, filled with laughter and sadness and, above all, love.

Chan bit back tears and rose to his feet. He didn't want to leave Woojin's side but the need for fresh air was too much. The man needed to be somewhere else, to clear his head and fight against the negative feelings threatening to destroy him from the inside out. Letting his partner's hand slip free from his own, he forced himself to walk away. The action came not quick enough, and as the door to the medical wing slowly slid shut behind him, Chan allowed his body to sag against the wall. For the moment, he simply allowed himself to sob into his hands.

The sound of footsteps echoing down the hall snapped him back to reality. Chan quickly rubbed at his eyes, chasing away the last of his tears. Clearing his throat, the leader of STRAY turned to greet whomever happened to be making their way his direction. With such loud footsteps, he really shouldn't have been surprised, but he was a bit taken aback when Jeongin rounded the corner.

The mechanic wasn't looking at him just yet, examining something within his hand. His expression was dark and incredibly ... _un-Jeongin-like_. Traces of oil and dust clung to his features and dried blood from an untreated cut sat just below his left eye. He looked as tired as Chan felt.

"Jeongin," he called out, voice hushed.

The boy came to an abrupt halt, head snapping up. "Mr. Bang!" He glanced both ways. "Chan," he corrected, much quieter. "I'm surprised to see you out here." If Jeongin noticed the redness of Chan's eyes, he didn't comment on it. Instead, the mechanic simply drew closer.

"Ah, yeah. What are you doing here? You practically live in the bay." His attempt at a joke didn't draw the laugh Chan was looking for and he bit his tongue in self-punishment. Jeongin glanced around again, and Chan realized he was attempting to be sneaky. Upon realization, the man tugged on the younger one's jacket and led him around the corner. It was a dead end hallway, the door at the end leading to a single storage closet. "Is something wrong?"

"Something's very wrong," Jeongin whispered, voice stern; his expression held the most seriousness Chan had ever seen him with. "Look at this."

Chan looked down as Jeongin shoved his hand out. Held within his palm, twisted and dirty, sat a single screw. He simply stared at it, unsure of what kind of reaction Jeongin hoped to provoke with such a thing. Luckily the boy caught on to that.

"I'm not trying to upset you, Chan, I promise. It's just ... I have a theory." He held the screw out, pointing to a weird marking on the side. "I think ... someone did this on purpose. I've only found three bolts, so my theory isn't completely sound. But hear me out."

Chan leaned back. "I'm listening."

"We use actual power drills to screw these in; they're too stubborn to deal with manually. This marking though, this is from a wrench. Why would someone use a wrench and make their life hard when there's a whole room full of equipment meant just for this purpose?" Jeongin barely paused. "You wouldn't! Unless you didn't want people to hear you working."

He extended a hand, Jeongin passing off the bolt. Moments of tense silence passed while he examined it. "So you're saying someone purposefully tried to get us killed?" His voice came out low and dangerous.

"Think about it, Chan. We've known someone was tampering with the Jaegers for two weeks now." Jeongin sighed, looking down at his feet. "But ... this is the first time they've almost gotten someone killed. I'm sorry."

Chan instinctively reached out, gently squeezing Jeongin's shoulder. "Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault."

The mechanic looked down the hallway, eyes falling out of focus. "I've been the head of maintenance ever since mom died. It's my job to look after the Jaegers and if I miss things like this, what good am I?"

"Don't think like that," he murmured, "These Jaegers are huge, and you're one person. There's no way you would've known."

"But I should've!"

Chan shook his head, pulling Jeongin against his chest. The young mechanic immediately curled in on him. So easily did people forget that Jeongin had barely stepped into adulthood. _All_ of them had. They were mere kids with the fate of the whole world upon their shoulders. "You're not at fault, Jeongin, and no one is going to blame you. I promise." He curled his fist around the broken bolt, feeling it cut deeply into his palm; it was the only thing that distracted him from the anger pulsing through his veins.

——— ( o ) ———

_His fingers tightened around the phone, Chan hearing it bend at the amount of force being put upon it. He pressed the 'accept call' button highlighted on his screen and raised the device to his ear, hesitant. "Hello?"_

_An angry crackle came through first, Chan wincing at the loudness of it. Seconds of silence passed and his heart sank, wondering if it had just been an accidental dial. But, as if sensing it, the voice flooded through. "Channie! I'm so happy to hear your voice."_

_Chan sagged in his chair, his free hand trembling a bit over his laptop keys._

_"Jinnie ..." He sighed in relief. "Are you ... alright?"_

_Woojin made a soft noise on the other end, the phone distorting what he assumed was meant to be comforting. "Yes, I'm fine."_

_"The Seoul incident ..."_

_"I know," Woojin said quietly, "I know. I'm fine. So is mom."_

_"That's a relief." Chan clutched the phone with both hands, fighting back the tears threatening to spill forth. "I was so worried this phone would never ring."_

_Though Woojin laughed, it sounded hollow. "You don't have a lot of faith in me."_

_"You're the size of a kaiju's tooth; I don't think it's wild for me to be worried." Chan shut his laptop and stood up, going to sit on his bed. His eyes stared at the empty one across the way, the sheets way too nice for his liking._

_"Listen to us, talking about such heavy things when we're still kids too."_

_"Kids don't train to fight giant monsters."_

_The two of them fell into silence, listening to the crackle of shitty phone service and their own quiet breaths. Chan felt bad for making the atmosphere so heavy, especially during such a positive moment, but it was true. They had lost their childhood and their families to creatures they'd both had the unfortunate luck to see up close. He'd never met anyone unaffected by a kaiju being so close._

_"Hey ... you're coming back, right?" Chan's sudden question spilled free; Woojin didn't answer at first. Fear gripped his heart._

_"Of course I am. We're a team." He broke off, calling out something to a person in the distance. "Listen, I have to go, but I promise I'm coming back, Channie. You can't get rid of me that easily."_

_"Okay. Call me again soon, yeah?"_

_"I will." The sound of the call ending pulled an exhale Chan didn't even know he was holding from his throat. He allowed himself to fall back against his bed and stared at the ceiling; his heart felt empty._

——— ( o ) ———

Chan stared down at the tablet clutched tightly in his hands, the screen showing a silent expanse of the control room. Several people milled about within, pouring over data and other information. He imagined Jeongin was in there somewhere, stood off to the side and speaking with the Marshal about what they'd just discovered. Really, he had to be, considering the screen was on for an announcement in the first place. The Ranger sat back as the Marshal appeared front and center, expression grim; his arms were behind his back.

"Attention, residents of the Shatterdome, a ... dire matter has been brought forward. As we're all aware, Candor Sunrise and her Rangers suffered a near-fatal accident two days prior. Early this evening, our head mechanic came across this." Chan's breath hitched as the bolt reappeared. "A bolt, purposefully tampered with and the cause of Mr. Kim's state. This is a threat to not only our safety, but the safety of the entire world as well. Thus," he paused, allowing what he'd just said to sink in, "we will be implementing hourly patrols of the bay area. You are to report any suspicious activity immediately."

Chan placed his hand atop Woojin's, staring at the screen with an intensity to rival the sun.

"Security personnel, report to your leader's for more instructions. For the saboteur, this is a message to you; you will be found, you will be caught, and you will be properly dealt with. Don't think you can manipulate the hands of fate. End of announcement."

The screen went dark, leaving Chan to listen to nothing but Woojin's quiet breaths. "We'll find them, I know we will."

——— ( o ) ———

_He curled in on himself, drawing his knees up to his chest. The silence pressed so heavily it nearly suffocated him. Darkness hung like a curtain, the only light escaping into the room coming in the form of his laptop charger. Chan could barely make out the shape of his phone upon the sheets. Though it was only an arms length away, it felt like the Breach itself. He'd been there for awhile now, simply staring at it, waiting for it to flood the room with sound. For now, it sat cold and still, mimicking Chan's own state._

_He couldn't remember the last time it rang. He couldn't remember the last time his room hadn't been cold and dark either. It'd been two years since the last time Woojin had stepped foot within it, what few things he owned sitting untouched and covered in a thin layer of dust. Chan found it strange, really, how the side belonging to the neat freak happened to be dirtier. Stranger, even, how one side could be spotless while the other had felt the effects of time._

_Chan absolutely hated it._

_It felt as if Woojin had never existed in the first place. Really, he didn't. He never called, he never wrote, and Chan's only indication that he was still alive came in the form of regular check-ins to the Marshal. He understood, he really did; Woojin's mother had reappeared after years spent assuming her demise. But he couldn't help but feel the pit in his stomach grow ever deeper. They were supposed to be partners. They were supposed to grow up and become Rangers together. The greatest Pilots who ever lived, Woojin once said._

_Now the distance between them was more than just polluted ocean; it was in feelings too._

_Chan wasn't just any Pilot-in-training either. He was the son of Bang Hyunbin, arguably the greatest Mark-1 Pilot who was still alive to tell the tale. A hero, celebrated all around the world, and rightfully so. Bang Hyunbin, who had become Hong Kong's new Marshal and subsequently had no time for Chan any longer. Chan had countless candidates for partners now but he'd made a promise, and even if he would be the only one to keep it, he wouldn't give in._

_The sound of his phone ringing cut through the dangerous ambiance of the room. Chan's hand immediately shot out, snatching up the offending device. It was a number he didn't recognize and he sighed, finger hovering over 'decline.' He couldn't bring himself to press it though, the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to answer. So he listened. Chan accepted the call, pressing the phone against his ear. "I don't know how you have time for spam calls in the midst of the apocalypse, but I'm gonna need you to lose my number."_

_"... Chan."_

_He shot upright so fast he nearly threw his phone. "W-woojin?"_

_"It's me." Woojin sounded tired and so much more mature than the last time Chan had spoken with him; he didn't like how unsettled that made him feel. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

_Chan should've been angry. He had the right to yell, to scream, to accuse, but he wasn't that kind of person. Instead, he sighed, letting his body sag as he chased away the tension within weary muscles. "I miss you."_

_"... You're not gonna yell at me?"_

_"I should, but no." Chan bit his lip, trying to find words. "You've been well, I hope?"_

_"As well as I can be. What about you?"_

_He stood up, flicking the light on. The shadows around him scurried out at the intrusion, Chan squinting against the newfound light; it'd been awhile. "I'm still alive. That's something."_

_"I didn't ask if you were alive," Woojin said, breath light, "I asked how you've been." It sounded as if he were walking._

_Chan shrugged to himself. "I've been great," he lied. He was relieved Woojin had called, and though he hadn't yelled, anger still nipped at his toes. "Training is going good, I've gotten really good with my punches."_

_"Oh? Hyun—the Marshal told me you haven't been out of your room in weeks."_

_His expression soured, Chan's eyes flicking to the door. He pressed his hands against his desk to steady himself. "Ah, so you found time to chat with him but not your partner."_

_"It's not like tha—"_

_"Really? Because that's exactly what it sounds like," Chan hissed, the hurt he was feeling spilling into his voice. "If you would've answered my calls or, I dunno, called me, you'd know I kept our promise."_

_Silence came from the other end and Chan wondered if he'd hung up. His heart sank, sadness chasing the anger out of him. Things weren't supposed to go like this. They had grown up together. They were best friends. They were supposed to help save the world! Why had it ended up like this?_

_"Chan ... I'm sorry. I know I should've called more, and those are moments I'll never get back but," Woojin paused, taking a shaky breath; Chan realized he was crying. "I want to fix it. We can fix it."_

_Chan felt his eyes grow wet, tears falling onto the desk before him. "Two years, Woojin. Two damn years."_

_"I know."_

_"Do you know how many nights I've waited up for you to call?"_

_"I know."_

_"How much sleep I've lost?"_

_"I know, Chan. I know."_

_"You don't know," he said, voice cracking, "You have no idea how long I've had to stare at your empty bed wondering when you were gonna be back."_

_"Now," Woojin whispered, "It's now."_

_Chan rubbed at his eyes, the sleeve of his sweater damp and scratchy. "What?"_

_"Open the door."_

_He looked back to the door, time seemingly slowing around him. Chan didn't take his time in reaching it, grasping the handle so hard it was a miracle it didn't snap off. The door was flung open without a moment of pause and he felt his body go limp._

_Standing just beyond, clutching a single bag in his hand and face littered with bandages, was Kim Woojin. He was no longer the short skinny boy that Chan had grown up with. His face had matured, he was taller, and his eyes hid more horrors than Chan could imagine._

_Seeing him, Chan realized. He was so caught up in his dream of becoming a superhero that he forgot about the trauma Woojin had survived through._

_"S-surprise?"_

_His phone clattered to the floor. "How—what—why?"_

_Woojin's expression softened and he extended a hand. "We promised, remember? I told you I'd come back. I know it'll take awhile for us to get back to, you know, our normal but we can do it."_

_Chan wiped at his eyes again, chasing away the few tears he had left. He reached out and grasped Woojin's hand, feeling the motivation he'd been lacking for months creep back into his body. "I never doubted you, not once."_

_His partner smiled. "I know."_

_"Now get in here and unpack; we've got a lot of things to catch up on."_

——— ( o ) ———

Chan pressed his cheek into the sheets, exhaling quietly. Tiredness had finally reared its head, clawing at his body with a vengeance. A headache had taken up residence deep within his skull as well, making just the faintest of movements hurt. Still, he refused to leave.

After another hour of nothing but beeping and breathing, he broke the silence. "I miss you," he mumbled, the words spilling out of him. "I miss your laugh and your smile and even your nagging." He was met with silence. So, he kept talking. "After not hearing your voice for two years, I realized how weird it is to be without it. I don't want to go back to our dorm. I don't want to be there while it's quiet and empty and I don't know if you'll come back again."

The hand held so carefully in his own twitched. Chan immediately sat up, turning to observe Woojin's face; he hadn't imagined it. For the first time in days, Woojin's fingers slowly curled into his own.

"I promised," he whispered, voice hoarse and faint, "I promised I'd come back."

The relief that expanded through Chan's entire body at the sound of his voice felt heavenly. "I never doubted you, Jinnie. Never."

"Ah, I'm glad." Woojin's eyes fluttered open, focused on some far off point.

At the moment, Chan didn't worry about it. He reached over and picked up the glass of water nearby and offered it to Woojin. "Drink this. I need to go find the doctor." The leader of STRAY went to stand but a gentle squeeze of his hand stopped him, Woojin fixing him with a stare that seemed to cut right through his body.

"Stay."

Chan wasn't sure why that one word made fear crawl up his throat but it did. Something about Woojin's tone seemed off, and his eyes looked hazy and unfocused; like he wasn't even there. "... Jinnie?"

"I feel like ... like I'm floating." Woojin relaxed against the bed once more, staring unblinkingly at the ceiling. "Nothing hurts."

Chan parted his lips to speak right as the doctor stepped in to make her rounds. He watched surprise cross her expression at Woojin's wakefulness, immediately hurrying on over to his bedside. "Dr. Pale."

"Good evening, Mr. Bang." She nodded to Woojin. "I'm surprised you didn't come get me. When did he wake up?"

"Not even two minutes ago. He seems ... really out of it."

Dr. Pale hummed, stepping around the other side of the bed. "Good evening Ranger, glad to see you still with us." Woojin made no indication he'd heard her. "Do you know who you are? Or where you are?" The older man didn't move; he just kept staring at the ceiling. Chan looked to the doctor but she raised a hand to silence him. "Can you hear me at all?"

After a brief listen to his heart, the doctor stepped back and motioned for Chan to follow. He pointed to the tight grip Woojin had on him, Dr. Pale making a noise in the back of her throat.

"Alright then. At first glance it seems Mr. Kim is suffering from head trauma. We'll give him a bit of time to come to and then run some tests. He'll be out of it until we determine just what's wrong with him." Chan must've looked downcast, because the doctor waved a hand at him. "Don't worry, Mr. Bang. Him being awake right now is a good sign. Both of you suffered multiple injuries the other night; you need a little time to heal."

"You think he'll recover, doctor?"

Dr. Pale smiled but it carried no joy. "All of us know how strong Mr. Kim is, you most of all. He'll be back on his feet in no time."

Chan nodded, and the doctor slipped out of the room to begin her rounds once more. The words were supposed to spark hope within his heart but Chan found no such joy. He only found uncertainty as he looked back to Woojin's far-off expression.

——— ( o ) ———

_"Thus ... I've decided to give leadership over Project STRAY to Mr. Bang."_

_Chan's back went ramrod straight, eyes focused intensely on the screen as voices rippled throughout the room. Words like 'favoritism' and 'cheater' were hissed in his direction, his fellow trainees coiling like snakes ready to strike, but he was unafraid. This was a moment he had worked his ass off for, his efforts to prove his worth finally coming to fruition, even if they were driven by the need to show his father he wouldn't just walk in his shadow._

_And so, Chan took over Project STRAY, a program bringing together the damaged and the broken, those who had lost everything to the kaiju. No Drift was needed to show how their minds aligned for one goal and one goal only; to save the world and everyone in it._

_Even those who doubted them._

——— ( **POV SWITCH; FELIX**  ) ———

Sparring with Jisung carried a whole new degree of exhilaration. Jisung had the skill of a well-trained Fightmaster, his punches and kicks aimed and true. He didn't hold back despite it only being training and, had Jisung and Minho not already been partners, would've probably been the Ranger Felix chose to co-pilot Cerulean Reverie with. Everything about the STRAY member was fluid and practiced, with a grace unmatched by anyone else he'd ever fought against.

Their first session had been short and a bit unsatisfying so it was no surprise he immediately took Jisung up on his offer to demonstrate some moves and the like for the other trainees. It offered a good distraction for the STRAY members too.

Felix eyed Jisung from where he stood in the ring, listening to him ramble about weak spots on kaiju to look out for. The trainees around the room were focused on him intently, the respect for their teacher clear. Strange, that someone who was barely an adult at twenty was already training people the same age and younger for a war they shouldn't have to be fighting in in the first place. They were only a day apart in reality but Felix felt like Jisung had an infinite amount of experience compared to himself.

His eyes inevitably drifted over to Changbin, who was standing in the corner with an unreadable expression. Ever since the realization of their Drift Compatibility, he hadn't been able to get Changbin out of his head. It didn't help that he'd shown up for sparring the other morning but only watched, distracting Felix enough that he'd had to call things off early.

"Alright then class," Jisung said, bringing Felix back into focus, "Please observe this next match." Without pause, the other Ranger made a beeline right for him.

Felix, knowing he wouldn't be able to dodge, raised his arms to block. Jisung seemed to anticipate this and went low, driving his weight into his stomach. The action caught him off guard and sent him stumbling back. He coughed but barely had time to recover, pushing himself back and out of the way of Jisung's low kick.

Their fight spanned the course of six sets, Felix winning two and Jisung winning four. This didn't surprise him. What did surprise him, however, was how Changbin suddenly took over during the seventh set. He barely dodged the sudden punch thrown his direction, the shorter of the duo wasting no time in tossing new energy into the mix.

"You have to be prepared for factors in a fight to change at any moment," he heard Jisung call out. Felix swung out a leg, catching Changbin in the hip and setting him off balance. "Adapting to these changes is important if you want to defeat a kaiju. You think they care that you can't raise your arms or get out of the way in time?"

Changbin, despite being shorter, was the stronger of the pair. He curled his hands around Felix's wrists and swept his legs out from under him, sending him sprawling across the mat below. The wind escaped his lungs in a mighty exhale.

"It will be hard, but breaking out of those limits and learning to anticipate the tide of battle changing at any moment is what's going to keep you alive."

Jisung's voice faded as Felix refocused on Changbin's satisfied smirk. The need to wipe it off his face took over, Felix yanking his arms over his own head hard enough to knock Changbin off balance once more. He did get a knee to the stomach but this didn't phase him, the Ranger taking advantage of the momentum from the movement to drag Changbin to the side; the grip on his arms broke. Felix pressed his full weight against the other man's legs and pinned his arms behind his back.

"Match set," he said, voice quiet enough that only his sparring partner could hear it. There was no mistaking the satisfaction dripping from it, however.

Felix let go of Changbin, rolling to his feet as Jisung finished his explanation. He fully expected Changbin's expression to be sour but he was met with a look so calm it made his hair stand on end.

"Class dismissed! Go eat lunch!" His eyes flicked to Jisung, the Fightmaster trotting over to them. "That was fucking incredible you two," he said. Though it was probably meant to be excited, Jisung's face was schooled into something scarily calm. "You need to try a simulation right now; there's no denying your Drift Compatible." Changbin went to step away, but Minho setting a hand upon his shoulder stopped him.

Changbin sighed. "Later."

"There is no later," Minho said. "We're currently down a Jaeger; now is not the time to be stubborn."

Jisung crossed his arms, and Felix glanced between everyone as the feeling in the room grew heavy. "You have to stop avoiding it, Changbin. Why did you sign up to become a Ranger when you knew you needed to Drift? Were you just gonna Pilot a Jaeger on your own?"

"No!" Changbin yelled, catching all three of them off guard. His mask of calm had been replaced by indignation. He sighed as he took a moment to calm down. "I get it, I understand. I don't need the same lecture eight hundred times. Especially not when the Marshal ripped me a new one the other night," he said, the last sentence mumbled. His gaze refocused on Felix, the two of them staring each other down. "You're gonna be the first person in my mind and Gods help me if you spill any dirty secrets, I'll stick fish in your socks."

Though it was supposed to be a threat, Felix immediately burst into laughter. Jisung and Minho followed immediately after, only making Changbin frown more.

"It's not meant to be funny."

"Yeah, yeah, fish in my socks. What's the worst thing I'll see? You drop your toothbrush in the toilet once?" Felix teased.

"Whatever, asshole," Changbin muttered, "I'll meet you in the simulation chamber."

Felix watched him go, just shaking his head. He looked to Jisung and Minho, the two of them breaking from their staring contest to stare back. "Well? Wanna go see baby's first Drift?"

Jisung smacked a hand upon Felix's shoulder, laughing. "I knew there was a reason the Marshal chose you. Let's go!"

'Well, it's now or never.' He took a deep breath and followed after Changbin's retreating form.

It was here that Felix's own fears began to creep in. Drifting had been a constant obstacle hovering before him for a while now, a necessary thing to Piloting a Jaeger once more. He had known he'd have to do it again but now that the time had arrived, he felt his blood began to run cold; Felix hadn't even Drifted with the training brain. But if Changbin was going to do it, there was no way he could back down now. Especially not after the emotions that had passed between them during their sparring match.

Despite having that thought in mind, standing in the middle of the simulation room with dozens of eyes focused upon him made him feel a bit queasy. Changbin didn't look much better, standing off to his right going through various breathing exercises. For Felix, he knew what to expect, but Changbin had never Drifted before. Were he to chase the rabbit, Felix wouldn't be surprised. Actually, he was kind of expecting it; perhaps they all were.

He slipped his headset on, watching Changbin mirror him. Jisung gave a thumbs up from across the room. Felix took a deep breath and looked back to the man next to him. "Ready. Initiate Drift when you're prepared." Changbin's eyes held determination and, without hesitation, he shouted a 'ready' to the operator.

Thus, Felix's mind exploded into a mess of color and white-hot emotion. He wasn't sure where to look or what to say, everything rolling together into a giant ball of incomprehensible gibberish. Words were being said, memories were flowing through him, and a life that wasn't his own coiled around his body. Despite everyone thinking Changbin would be the one to chase the rabbit, it ended up being Felix.

Images of Changbin stumbling upon documents detailing illicit activities flowed through him. He watched the young boy find keys to an underground laboratory. He watched him uncover a whole network of illegal tech for human experimentation with kaijus. He felt the anger and sadness and so many other things brushed against his mind, leaving a bitter taste upon his tongue. He felt guilt and shame and resentment coil around his heart as Changbin confronted his parents, the two of them calling him ungrateful and unwanted. The memories lasted only a span of two seconds but it felt like a lifetime, Felix glancing into the private world of all Changbin had experienced. Until, finally, it landed upon the final memory.

Changbin, staring at the ocean, eyes angry and determined. His hands were shoved into his pockets and a feeling of newfound resolve coursed through Felix's veins. "I will correct the Seo name, you'll see. I'll make it a name worth being proud of."

All at once, the memories let go of him. Felix took a huge gulp of air, gasping as he fought against the intensity of the emotions fighting through him. He looked to Changbin, the two of them locking eyes in unison; the Drift was successful.

"Holy shit ..." The distant voice caught their attention, the two of them turning in sync to look at the operator. Jisung and Minho were next to her, staring down at the screen before her. They looked up to the two Rangers as even their breathing fell into a single unified pace. "This is the strongest Neural Handshake I've ever seen."

——— ( o ) ———

Felix ate dinner alone that night, tucked into a far corner of the cafeteria. Ate wasn't quite the right word. Rather, he simply picked at his food and only managed to get through his banana. He hadn't felt the same since sparring with Changbin. The man had put him off balance and kept him that way the entire day. Felix felt like he understood Changbin as well as himself now. It all made sense. He wasn't angry, he wasn't rude, he wasn't unfriendly; he was determined. But he was also scared, and that feeling resonated within himself so deeply it scared him.

So, one could imagine his surprise when the source of his distressed state entered the cafeteria and headed straight towards him. Even from so far away, Felix could tell he wasn't feeling the greatest either. Changbin's pace slowed the closer he got to the table, coming to a complete halt a mere two steps away. The Ranger nervously scratched the back of his neck.

"You mind if I ... join you?"

"Uh ..." Felix motioned to the empty bench. "Sure."

He sank into the offered seat, his body stiff and uncomfortable. The atmosphere around the duo felt heavy too. Not unfriendly, just ... out of place.

Changbin placed his hands upon the table, curling his fingers together; he didn't look up. "I want ... I want to apologize," he grumbled, voice quiet.

"What for?" He asked, but he already knew.

"For being such an ass to you when you got here. I felt it." Changbin looked up, catching Felix's wide eyes and shocked expression. "I felt all of it, when ... when you lost him, and I'm sorry."

Felix's shoulders dropped and he lowered the fork in his hand. "Don't apologize; I've heard enough sorry's to last me a lifetime." He laughed, but the sound was awkward.

"Still ... But I get it now. I understand." The other man rested his elbow on the table, plopping his chin within his hand. "Drifting is a two way street. It's not just me sharing my memories and emotions, I get to experience yours too. I'm sorry I didn't realize that sooner."

"Really Changbin, it's fine. You don't have to apologize." Their gazes locked once more and Felix recalled those words—I _'ll make it a name worth being proud of._

"I've known from the moment they contacted you that Cerulean Reverie was no longer mine. So—" and Changbin's eyes gained an intensity like no other, "—I want to make this work. I want to become a Ranger worthy of your partnership. Will you train with me?"

A memory of Caspian flooded into his mind, the man displaying the same emotion Changbin was, insisting that they could save the world together. Caspian and Changbin were more similar than he could ever have imagined. Felix swallowed the anxiety crawling up his throat and nodded. "Lets do it."

——— ( **POV SWITCH; JEONGIN** ) ———

"What a mess," Jeongin mumbled, sifting through miscellaneous parts and pieces scattered all over Candor Sunrise's head. He had been working tirelessly the last two days to get the Jaeger back into working order while also investigating further into what had been the cause of her accident. Sturdy metal cables didn't just snap, especially not with such a new Jaeger. The bolt had brought a whole new set of hair-raising suspicions flooding through his body. Tonight was the first time he had been back within Candor's head since the announcement, and it felt eerie to be among a place that almost became two of his closest friend's final resting place.

Jeongin sighed as he picked up his flashlight and shined it through the massive structure. It settled on the spot Woojin had landed and his heart fluttered uncomfortably in his chest. The blood stain still remained, dried and old upon the floor; he felt queasy. "I'll have to get someone up here to clean that soon," he whispered, the shadows drawing back from his flashlight beam as he moved.

The mechanic walked forward, placing a hand upon Woojin's station. Cables dangled limply from the ceiling, some of them frayed and angry. He'd replaced a large majority of them already, but the ones that remained glared hauntingly back at him. As he moved the beam of light around the site of the accident, he spotted something that wasn't there before. Jeongin squinted, moving around to the other side of Woojin's place.

Within an instant, he felt his blood run cold.

Clipped to a frayed cable, displayed like an Olympic medal, was a piece of shredded cloth. Bloody writing took up most of the surface but there was no way Jeongin could mistake it. Right in the center, half torn and obscured by words, was Polar Four's emblem.

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna chat about writing stuff, my twt is jisungpng! I may even slide u a few spoilers!! also keep in mind that I do not beta my fics so if there are mistakes and the like, I apologize!


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